A Love like a Moonflower
by D. Leveille
Summary: Collection of oneshots and ficlets depicting the transformation of Remus & Lily's relationship over the years. Parallel Universe. *CH 11 UP!*
1. Cupcake

_Notes: I wanted to write something in honor of Remus' birthday, but scene ideas began flooding my mind so this will now be an ongoing project (not that I need another one lol). Please be aware that updates will be sporadic since I'll be writing this in my spare time. I've just recently discovered my love for this pairing and it saddens me that it's not represented more in the fandom. So here is my meager contribution, hope you enjoy it! Feedback is greatly appreciated ;)_

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**Cupcake**

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Lily Evans was reclining on the couch in the Gryffindor common room with a large book propped against her knees. It was after midnight, a late hour for a first year to be awake, but Lily was waiting for Remus Lupin to arrive back from the hospital wing. His illnesses were a regular occurrence by now, but Lily was terribly worried about her friend's health. When he finally crawled through the portrait hole, Remus looked pale and exhausted. She immediately put the book down and hurried over to him. He had shadows under his clear blue eyes and his face was thinner than before. Lily felt like crying. Remus was the sweetest boy she'd ever met and it pained her that someone so good had to suffer.

"Lily, what are you doing up?" She threw her arms around his neck, pulling his frail body into an embrace. "Lily?" he stammered. She'd never hugged him before so it was no wonder that he was shocked.

"Oh, Remus," she whispered. "Are you-"

"Yes, I'm alright."

He placed his hand hesitantly on her back and she took that as a good sign, so she pulled him closer. Lily could feel the thump of his heart against her chest. It was a very comforting sensation knowing that he was okay.

Lily's soft, shoulder-length red hair was brushing against the side of his face and it smelled like flowers. He could feel a blush spreading across his cheeks at her proximity. "Lily… err, this is kind of embarrassing."

She reluctantly let go of him and her bright smile was like the sunrise. Lily took his hand and led him over to the couch. "I have a surprise for you," she said excitedly. "I'll go and get it!" He watched with amusement as she ran up the girl's staircase. Lily always had so much energy.

Remus sat down beside her black cat, who was curled up on a tartan blanket in the middle of the couch. The cat opened his golden eyes and looked at him. "Hi, Lumos," he greeted. The cat gave a big yawn and stretched his limbs out before climbing onto his lap. Lily's cat liked him for some strange reason. He scratched Lumos behind the ears and the cat purred in contentment.

He heard Lily's footsteps and soon she was in front of him, holding a cupcake with a single lit candle. "Happy Birthday, Remus!" That's right. He was 12 years old today. She held it in front of him. "Make a wish." Something immediately sprang to mind and he blew the flame out in one breath.

Lily pulled the candle out of the chocolate frosting. Remus took the cupcake from her hands and thanked her. "This is really nice of you." He hadn't eaten anything all day and was absolutely ravenous. The dessert was gone in about four bites. Remus was licking his fingers when Lily gave a tinkling little laugh next to him. "Sorry," he mumbled.

She nudged his shoulder with hers. "Not at all. I'm glad you liked it. I know chocolate is your favorite so I saved it from dinner. Professor McGonagall gave me the candle though." She pulled her legs up, covering herself with the tartan blanket.

"Thank you for thinking of me, Lily. It means a lot."

"Well of course I think of you. You're my friend, Remus." A crease appeared between her eyebrows. "I just wish you felt better on your birthday."

"I do because of you."

She blinked her pretty green eyes at him. "Truly?"

"Yes, truly," he replied with a little smile.

Lily leaned her head against his shoulder. "I'm glad." After a brief moment of silence she said, "Will you tell me about your illness someday?"

"I don't know, Lily," he replied apprehensively.

"I'll never think the less of you for it." Remus wanted to believe that. Lily was so kind… if anyone could overlook him being a werewolf, it would be her. "No matter what, we'll always be friends," she murmured. "I promise."

That was exactly what he had wished for. Remus turned his head to look down at her. Lily's eyes were closed and her reddish eyelashes glowed in the firelight. His heart was beating fast and his insides were fluttering around. It was a peculiar feeling, but not a bad one. Lily's even breathing seemed to indicate that she was asleep. He was usually shivery after the full moon, but he felt warm and relaxed with Lily at his side, the cat on his lap, and the crackling fire in front of him. He closed his tired eyes and silently thanked Dumbledore for allowing him to attend Hogwarts. Remus finally felt as though he belonged somewhere.


	2. Monthly Pains

_A/N: Thank you so much for the follows and favorites! This isn't a popular pairing so I'm happy that people are reading this story. I'd really love to hear from you so please leave a short review :D_

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**Monthly Pains**

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Lily sat next to a peaky looking Remus during breakfast. He was pushing around his porridge and barely eating anything. Lily didn't feel well either. Her stomach had been bothering her since the night before. It wasn't exactly a nauseated feeling, but a dull ache low in her belly. She forced down a piece of buttered toast and a cup of black tea.

"Remus, you should eat more. You need to keep up your strength."

The last thing he wanted was to have strength to do more damage. "I'm never hungry when I have a headache," he replied truthfully. The moon's pull always made him feel foggy. Remus knew that he would have to skip his afternoon classes so he could lay down in the hospital wing.

"Then at least have something to drink." Lily poured out another cup of earl grey, adding milk and two sugars.

"Merlin's pants, Evans," James remarked from across the table. "Are you his mum or something?"

She glared over at Potter, but didn't bother responding to his rude comment. She wasn't in the mood for an argument. Lily turned back to Remus and noticed that the tips of his ears were red. Despite his embarrassment, he did drink the tea.

Remus gave her a shy smile. "It's good, thanks."

She smiled back before a pain made her grimace.

"What's the matter?" he asked with concern.

"My stomach hurts."

"You should go see Madame Pomfrey."

Lily shook her head. "I can't miss Transfiguration. I'll go afterwards if it's still bothering me."

The throbbing didn't stop while she sat in class and to Lily's mortification, it was accompanied by an alarming sensation. She put everything together, feeling like such an idiot for not realizing it sooner. Lily raised her hand high in the air.

"Yes, Miss Evans?" Professor McGonagall asked. All of the students turned around to look at her.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm not feeling well. May I please go to the hospital wing?"

"Of course you may."

"Thank you." Lily could feel her cheeks burning as she hurriedly packed up her belongings.

***.*.***

Remus was distracted for the remainder of class. He impatiently watched the clock, waiting for the time to tick down. Remus was the first one out of the room when Professor McGonagall dismissed them.

Madame Pomfrey looked up from her desk as he walked into the hospital wing. She gave him a friendly smile. "Morning, Mr. Lupin. Are you here for a lie down?"

He nodded. "Is Lily Evans here too? She left in the middle of class with a stomach ache."

The school nurse knew that they were friends because Lily stopped by quite often to visit him. "Yes, but she's doing better now. I gave her something to ease the cramping."

"So it's not anything serious then?" he asked in clarification.

"Not at all. She's in the last bed by the window if you'd like to see her." Madame Pomfrey got something out of a drawer and walked over to him. "Why don't you share this with Miss Evans?" she asked, holding out a bar of Honeydukes chocolate.

He thanked her before making his way down the center aisle. Each bed had a privacy screen from its neighbor, but the front was open so he could see that no other students were laying down today. He put his schoolbag on the second to last bed and walked close to the divider.

"Lily?" he asked softly. "Can I come in?"

"Yes, Remus."

He walked around to the other side to see Lily covered up with a woolen blanket. Her body was curled into the fetal position and she was hugging an extra pillow to her midsection. Lily gave him a wan smile as he pulled the straight-backed chair closer to her bedside.

"Madame Pomfrey said you were okay, but you look very pale to me."

"I'm alright," she replied. "I'll have to get used to feeling this way."

"Why?" he asked with a frown.

"Remus, don't you know what happens to girls every month?"

Then he recalled something that Sirius had told him not too long ago. "_We have to watch ourselves now that we're 2__nd__ years. Soon all the girls will be bleeding from down there and turning into right raging beasts because of it. You think some of them are uptight now, but wait until PMS sets in."_

"Errr, I know a bit." Remus knew that he was blushing so he changed the subject. "Madame Pomfrey gave me a chocolate bar. Would you like some?"

"Sure."

He broke it in half and they savored the creamy chocolate in silence. Lily looked at Remus; the sunshine had turned his light brown hair into a lovely golden color.

"Our situations are reversed," he said, meeting her eyes. "It's usually me in that bed."

"Yes. Both of us are going to be absolutely miserable the next few days. I know it will be much worse for you though."

He blinked as he registered her last comment. "Lily, do you… know about me?"

She nodded.

Remus dropped his eyes to the floor. "And it doesn't bother you?"

"No. Why would it?"

"Half-breeds like me are hated in the wizarding world."

Lily sat up in bed and reached for his hand. "Remus, don't call yourself that. I'm Muggle-born so their bigotry doesn't influence me."

He met her emerald gaze and saw the sincerity in them. "Most people wouldn't even consider me a human being anymore."

His words broke her heart. "You are human, Remus, and one of the best ones I know. You have a beautiful, caring heart, so don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of yourself. Okay?"

Remus nodded and he had to clear his throat of the emotion which had lodged itself there. "Thank you, Lily."

She impulsively leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek. He stared at her with widened eyes and a fiery blush suffused her face. "I'm sorry," Lily stammered. "I got a bit carried away."

He grinned. "It's alright. I don't mind." In fact, Remus hoped that she would kiss him again in the future.

Madame Pomfrey appeared a few minutes later, reminding Remus that he should be laying down himself. He had been so happy talking with Lily that he had temporarily forgotten about the headache.

Remus got up from the chair and went over to his own bed, where he covered himself with a scratchy blanket. He waited until Madame Pomfrey was gone before turning towards the divider and whispering Lily's name.

"Yes, Remus?" she asked softly.

"Will you stop by tomorrow after class? I'll probably be out of it, but…" he trailed off.

Lily finished the sentence for him. "But you'd like it if I sat with you?"

"Yes," he replied. "If you want to that is."

"Course I do. I'll bring my homework just in case you're sleeping."

They stopped talking after this, but both of them were too excited to take a nap. Remus smiled as he touched the spot on his cheek where her lips had been. Meanwhile, Lily's heart was racing as she hugged the pillow tightly to her chest. She had liked Remus ever since first year, but they rarely had time alone. Their private moments occurred before or after the full moon: either in the common room or right here in the hospital wing. Lily was suddenly grateful that she had gotten her period that day. Their shared pain had brought them together.


	3. Palm Reading

_A/N: Nope I didn't forget about this story ;) I really missed writing about these precious cuties! It may take me a while to complete, but Lily and Remus will get their happy ending :D I love all forms of divination so I had fun consulting my books for this chapter. Hope you enjoy it!_

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**Palm Reading**

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Remus had just arrived on the bustling train platform with his parents when he heard Lily's voice calling for him. _But where is she?_ he wondered as he made his way through the crowd. He finally spotted her standing on top of her school trunk, waving at him with a big smile on her face. Remus felt himself grinning back as he approached. She got down from the trunk and he was surprised to discover that Lily was a few inches taller than him. Her rich auburn hair now fell past her shoulders and Remus caught the scent of her flowery shampoo even before she pulled him into a tight hug. Lily's new curves pressed against him and he felt a blush rising to his cheeks.

Lily pulled back to look at him. "It's so good to see you, Remus! I really missed you."

"Err, likewise," he mumbled stupidly as he looked into her leaf-green eyes. Lily had always been beautiful, but her happiness magnified it. Her energy was so bright and alive that he felt the cloud over him dissipate.

He had forgotten that his parents were nearby until his mother said: "You must be Lily Evans. Remus has spoken of you so often! Thank you for being such a dear friend to him. It means the world to us."

And then his father made it worse by adding: "So this is the girl who was sending you letters all summer, eh, Remus?" he asked, nudging his shoulder. "It's very nice to meet you, Miss Evans."

His face was blazing now, but Lily looked pleased as she shook their hands. His mum kissed him goodbye and his dad gave him a brief hug before leaving the two of them alone. Remus was still a little embarrassed, so he bent down to pet Lily's black cat, Lumos, through the bars of the carrier.

"Your parents didn't come with you today?" Remus asked when he straightened up.

"No, they just dropped me off. My sister had somewhere to be."

Remus knew that Lily didn't get along with her sister. Their relationship had gone bad after she received her Hogwarts letter. Because of that, Lily spent most summers reading or hanging out with Severus Snape. Remus was a bit jealous about that. He would have given anything to spend one whole day with Lily.

"Oi, Moony!" Remus turned around to see James and Sirius approaching.

"Looking good, Evans," Sirius said with a smirk as he surveyed her.

Lily scowled at him. "Keep your eyes to yourself."

He held his hands up in protest. "Hey, I can't help what they do when your top is that tight."

"You're a disgusting pig," Lily shot back.

Remus wanted to say something to Sirius, but he was so angry that he couldn't find the words. His friend only laughed and Lily told Remus that she'd see him later. He nodded. "Bye, Lily. I'm sorry," he said in an undertone.

"Don't apologize on his behalf. It isn't your fault that he doesn't have any manners."

Remus felt his heart clench as she walked away. And then James and Sirius started talking about her chest. "She's gone up at least one cup size. Shame that our school robes will keep that body hidden."

His blood boiled with rage. "That's enough! Don't talk about Lily that way." Their eyes widened in shock. Remus rarely stood up to James and Sirius, but he wasn't going to allow them to get away with this.

"There's no need to get your fur all ruffled, Moony," James said. That comment only infuriated Remus even more and Sirius had to step in to smooth things over.

"Sorry, mate. I'd forgotten that you fancied her."

He looked at Sirius. 'Fancy' didn't even begin to cover how he felt. "Lily knew about me before you lot did and she accepted me for what I am. So I'd appreciate it if you treated her with some respect. She deserves that much."

"Yeah, fine. We will then." James threw his arm around his shoulder. "Don't be angry, Moony. We haven't seen you in ages! How was your summer?"

"Alright. Same as always really." Well except for Lily's letters, but he wasn't going to tell them about that.

Peter opened a window and yelled that he'd saved them a compartment. After exchanging stories about their holidays, the subject switched to the new electives they would be taking as third years. Peter, James, and Sirius had chosen Muggle Studies and Divination, while Remus had picked Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures. Lily was taking Ancient Runes too and it would be the first time they'd be in a class together without his friends. He was looking forward to that more than anything else.

***.*.***

Lily couldn't stand Divination for two reasons: the obnoxious marauders who joked around the entire class and the amount of guesswork involved in the subject. Their first day on tea leaves was ridiculous nonsense. She decided to give it one more chance before calling it quits. The palmistry lesson was interesting until Professor Nettle took her hand and declared: "Miss Evans, you are destined for romantic complications with warring suitors."

"I would never tolerate such a thing," she replied stiffly, pulling her hand from the older lady's grasp.

The professor gave her a wry smile. "My dear, you cannot control matters of the heart when other people are involved. They will react however they choose."

"I may not be able to control _their_ behavior, but I do have a choice when it comes to who _I love_. And I certainly wouldn't fall for anyone who considered me a prize to be fought over."

This annoyed Professor Nettle, who complained that the muggle women's rights movement had no place in the magical world.

"Oh, yes it does," Lily insisted hotly. She was docked five points for her attitude and she spent the remaining class period seething. Lily told Remus all about it before Ancient Runes started.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," he said sympathetically, putting a hand on her shoulder. His tone and gesture helped to calm her.

"I'll speak to Professor McGonagall about dropping the class and taking Care of Magical Creatures with you instead."

He gave her such a happy smile that her heart did a tumble inside of her chest. Lily knew exactly what that meant. She had known for a long time that Remus was special. "Can I read your palm?"

"Sure."

They were sitting beside each other and she had him place his right hand down on the table so she could bend over it. His lines were harder to see than her own.

"You have a water hand," she said, touching his long fingers. "It means that you're kind and sensitive. Your life line is fainter than the others. I guess that makes sense because of your health." And then Lily found what she had been looking for. He trembled slightly as she gently ran her finger over the dash alongside his life line. "This indicates a companion or soul mate. Someone you'll always be with."

"Do you have one?" he asked softly.

She met his forget-me-not blue eyes and their faces were so close that she could have leaned over to kiss him. Lily's cheeks were warm as she replied in the affirmative. She had to look away from his lips because she didn't trust herself. "And you have a triple fork on the end of your heart line."

Professor Vanheim walked into the class before she had a chance to explain. They got out their quills and began taking notes on the runic alphabet. Remus elbowed her a moment later and she looked over to see that he had written on a corner of his parchment: "Is that good or bad?"

She quickly wrote: "Good. You will make a very caring companion."

Remus paused, thinking something over. The blush was still on his cheeks as he scratched out: "For you?"

She couldn't keep the grin from her face as she added: "I'd like that" underneath his question.

The mood was broken when Professor Vanheim addressed the two of them by name and asked if they were paying attention.

"Uh, yes, sir," Remus stuttered, pulling his parchment back in front of him.

"Good, because once you learn the runes, you'll be able to write in code. A handy skill when conveying important or meaningful messages to someone," he said with an amused expression.

Lily silently wondered if their professor was a true Seer, or if their feelings for each other were just that obvious.


	4. Scarves

_A/N: I'm very sorry for the delay _;_; _Thank you to all the new readers who have added this story to their alerts! The Fantastic Beasts manual came in handy for this chapter. Professor Kettleburn was mentioned in Prisoner of Azkaban as retiring due to missing limbs, so I invented a few injuries for him in his early career. Anyway, hope you like this little scene between Lily and Remus ;)_

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**Scarves**

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The brisk autumn wind blew against Lily and Remus as they headed down to their Care of Magical Creatures lesson near the Forbidden Forest. It was slightly overcast, making the oranges, reds, and yellows of the leaves even more vibrant. A plume of smoke spiraled into the air from the gamekeeper's chimney and they could see the giant pumpkins that Hagrid grew every year for Halloween in the garden patch.

Professor Kettleburn, who was missing a few fingers (and a foot that a Quintaped had bitten off), relaxed on a bench as he waited for his students to arrive. There was a flock of squat birds with long beaks grazing nearby. They reminded Remus of large seagulls that couldn't fly, although their bodies were shaped more like turkeys.

"They're Diricawls!" Lily said excitedly as they took a seat in the front row. "They vanish if they sense danger and that's why Muggles think they're extinct."

"Very good, Miss Evans," Professor Kettleburn praised. "Five points to Gryffindor."

Remus flashed her a grin. Class hadn't even begun and she'd already earned them house points. Some Slytherins sneered over at her, but she was too busy examining the curious-looking birds to notice.

Once all sixteen students were present and seated on the rustic benches, Professor Kettleburn began his lecture. Remus found out that they were known as "dodo birds" in the Muggle community: a word that he was familiar with thanks to '_Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.' _His mother had read the fantastical book to him as a child. He mentioned it to Lily, who whispered back that it was one of her favorites.

"Well that's enough facts for now," Professor Kettleburn declared, rising from the bench. He limped over to a wooden chest and lifted the lid. Remus saw woven baskets filled with what looked like berries and crabapples.

"Pair off and then get a basket. Today you'll be feeding and drawing the Diricawls. If anyone forgot to bring paper or pencils, I have extras available. Diricawls will disappear if they feel threatened, so do not make any sudden movements or try to pet them unless they approach you themselves. Don't feed them out of your hands because they may bite you by mistake. Anyone who disregards these rules will lose points so behave yourselves."

Most animals were nervous around Remus because they could sense that he was different from other humans. He let Lily lure one of the birds with a trail of walnuts. They found a comfortable spot beneath a flame-colored tree. Remus unbuckled his leather messenger bag and took out his drawing supplies while Lily sprinkled berries and seeds on the ground in front of them. When the bird came closer, she rewarded it with a crabapple. The Diricawl loved this so much that it went up to her. Lily was able to pet the fluffy grey down for a few seconds before it moved away. Meanwhile, Remus sketched the outline of the bird and its puff of short tail feathers.

It wasn't long until he was shivering from the biting wind. Remus had overslept that morning and run out of his dorm without grabbing his scarf. Lily noticed and asked if he was cold. "A bit," he replied, meeting her green eyes.

She unwound the scarf from her neck. "Here, I'll share with you. It's long enough for both of us."

And before Remus could protest, she had flung one end around him and tucked it into the back of his woolen jumper. She was only inches from him now: close enough to see the light freckles that dusted her nose and cheeks. "Thanks, Lily," he murmured.

She gave him a little smile. "Hold on, you have an eyelash." He felt her soft fingertip brush underneath his eye and across his cheekbone; lingering there for an extra second or two. "There, got it."

But Remus had to wonder if there had been an eyelash at all. Lily was always finding reasons to touch him these days ("your tie is crooked", "you have a crumb on your face", "there's ink on your fingers"). And then of course there were the monthly hugs she'd give him in the hospital wing or the "welcome back" kisses in the common room.

Remus felt instantly warmer with Lily at his side. They bent over their sketchpads; breath mingling together in the chill air. To his amazement, Lily wasn't very artistic. Remus couldn't resist teasing her about this. "You mean there's something that Miss Lily Evans isn't good at? I am completely shocked!"

She poked him in the side, and a moment later, the Diricawl poked her because it was out of food. Watching the bird eat was making him hungry. He suddenly remembered that he still had some sweets left over from the weekend Hogsmeade trip. Remus took out a crumpled bag with a few toffees and Sugar Quills inside.

"Want some?" he asked.

Lily nodded and they put their pencils down to take a break. She cast a quick cleansing spell on their hands for "sanitary reasons." They leaned against the sturdy maple tree while they ate. Lily's head was touching his and he felt dopey with happiness. Remus didn't notice Hagrid leaving his hut with two large trays.

He started from his reveries when the man said: "What a fine picture the two of yeh make." Remus looked up to see the massive gamekeeper wink down at them. "Glad to see that yer such good friends."

He also noticed the steaming mugs on the tray. Remus took a sniff and knew they contained spiced pumpkin cider.

"Thought everyone could use a bit o' refreshment to warm themselves up," he added.

"That's very nice of you, Hagrid! Thank you." Lily had to take off the scarf to stand up.

"Enjoy yerselves," the gamekeeper said with a twinkle in his beetle-black eyes.

The cider was too hot to drink, so Remus set the mug on his raised knees and cupped his hands around it. He slowly breathed in the heavenly aroma of nutmeg and cinnamon.

"I can't wait until the Halloween feast," Lily said as she settled down next to him. "Thank god there's no full moon to ruin it."

Remus had missed the festivities the previous year. "I know, I'm excited too. There should be lots of chocolate."

She nodded. "Yes, there were all kinds last year, but I loved the pumpkin fudge pie the most. And the mini apple tarts."

"Oh no, I'm getting hungry again."

She laughed and changed the subject to fiction. "Seeing a real dodo bird is pretty special! I've read '_Alice' _at least twenty times." They continued to talk about their favorite books. As much as Remus loved Hogwarts, it was nice being able to discuss Muggle things with someone who understood all the references. Peter, James, and Sirius knew next to nothing about the "ordinary" world and sometimes it made Remus feel lonely.

They finished their cider and Lily secured the cozy red and gold scarf around their necks again. "Perhaps one of us should forget to bring our scarves next week as well," she suggested, nudging him in the shoulder. "I think it should be me because I'd like to share yours. But you have to make sure you don't oversleep again because we'll freeze if neither of us brings one."

Remus had to laugh at her sensible comment. "I'll put it in my bag the night before, how's that?"

She returned his smile. "Sounds good."


	5. Growth Spurt

_A/N: Good news- I'll be able to update this story more frequently now! I'm actually planning on writing another very soon xD This is the longest chapter so far, at just over 2,000 words. I had fun teasing Remus during this one hehe ;)_

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**Growth Spurt**

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Lily sat at a table in the Leaky Cauldron, sipping an anti-nausea potion that was always kept on hand for the patrons who arrived on the Knight Bus. She told her parents that she wanted to do some early school shopping, but that wasn't her primary reason for going to London a month before the start of term. Lily would be spending the entire day with Remus, which made her feel very grown up.

She supposed it was a date, although neither of them used that word in their letters. What they had couldn't really be classified. It was a sort of in-between state: more than friends, but not yet crossing the barrier of becoming a couple. Lily was hoping this would be the year for their relationship to progress.

Remus had warned her about his changed looks, but she was still surprised when he walked through the pub door. He had his hands shoved self-consciously into his pockets as he slouched towards her. But his smile was the same: a little unsure with a sweetness that filled her with a happy warmth. She grinned back and pulled out the chair beside her.

"Hi Lily," he said, sitting down in the chair. Remus brushed the shaggy fringe from his eyes and looked at her. Golden starbursts around his pupils had transformed his forget-me-not blue irises into a stunning sea-green.

"Your eyes!" she gasped, cupping the side of his face so he couldn't look away from her.

"I know. My mum told me that hers did the same thing when she was around my age." Even his voice had deepened. He began to flush under her gaze and she dropped her hand, feeling shy all of a sudden. This Remus was someone she didn't know.

He seemed to read her mind. "I know I look different, but I'm still the same person. Well, for the most part anyway." Remus said in an undertone: "My recovery time is a lot faster now. I only feel terrible for about a day afterwards."

"That's great! I'm glad you're getting stronger."

"Yes, but there's also a drawback." He leaned next to her ear and whispered: "My wolf form is bigger too so I'm causing a lot more damage. I wish I could keep my head during transformations. That would solve everything… no destruction or injuries, but I suppose that will never happen."

Lily reached for his hand. "Maybe a potion will be invented someday that can help with that," she said in a comforting tone. "Don't give up hope, Remus."

Their faces were still very close. He leaned back, chewing on his bottom lip as he averted his eyes. "I'll try not to."

Lily let go of him, feeling hurt. Things seemed to be going backwards instead of progressing. Why was he acting like this? He never minded before when she hugged or touched him.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry that I'm late. Dad was taking forever this morning and I was waiting around for him. Have you ever done side-along apparition before?" She shook her head. "It's really unpleasant. Was the Knight Bus awful too?"

"Ugghh, yes. I nearly threw up, but I guess it beats taking a regular train because it only took about twenty minutes to get here."

He frowned. "Do you still feel sick?"

"No." She explained about the anti-nausea potion. "Doesn't taste very good though. Think I'll order a Butterbeer. Do you want one too?"

He nodded, but stood up before she could. "I'll get them."

They stayed in the pub for another twenty minutes. Standing beside him made her realize just how much he had grown. Lily didn't even reach his shoulders now. "My goodness, Remus, look at you!" she exclaimed as they headed for the door. "Bet you'll be the tallest in our year."

He gave her a little smile. "My legs are actually sore from growing so fast. All I've been doing this summer is sleeping. Dad says that's normal for teenagers. Has it been the same for you?"

"No, I've been really restless. Reading more than sleeping. I don't think I've got any taller though... I did most of my growing last summer."

"Yeah, I remember how surprised I was when I saw you on the platform. I suppose it's the same for you now."

"You got that right," she replied with a grin.

They took a bus to Bloomsbury. It was a warm August day, so they decided to stroll around the gardens in Russell Square. Lily took off her white cardigan, letting the sun touch her pale arms. It felt glorious to close her eyes with her head tipped up to the sky as they sat on a park bench. When she glanced over at Remus, he was watching her with an unreadable expression.

"What's the matter?"

"Your skin will burn if we stay out here much longer. Why don't we go over to the British Museum now?"

"I put on sunscreen so I'll be fine. Let's stay a few more minutes at least."

Lily could see fine blond hairs shining on his upper lip. Then she noticed the way his fists were clenched around the fabric of his jeans.

"Remus, why are you so tense? Have I done something to upset you?" She felt like crying; nothing was going the way she thought it would. "I was really excited about seeing you today, but it doesn't seem like you want to be here at all."

"I do, Lily, I swear! And you haven't done anything." He let out a frustrated sigh. "The problem is me. All of my senses have been going haywire lately. Dad says it should pass once my body adjusts to the changes." Remus paused, mulling something over. After a brief hesitation he added: "Normal teenage boys don't have it easy, but it's even worse for me." A blush crept up his neck and he turned his head away. "Sorry… I'm just really embarrassed over this whole thing."

"It's okay, Remus. Thank you for telling me." Lily understood now. Knowing the reason for his distance made it somewhat easier to bear, but it was still difficult when all she wanted was to be close to him. She stood up to put her cardigan back on. "Shall we go to the museum now?"

He gave a nod. Remus reached for her hand as they walked down a garden path. His large palm enveloped her own and she smiled over at him. "You look very pretty today," he complimented.

"Oh, thank you." She had put extra care into her appearance: braiding her damp hair before going to bed so that it would fall in waves down her back. Lily even applied a little mascara and lipgloss. "You're quite handsome yourself."

He grinned. "Nah, I'm much too awkward and gangly, but thanks for trying to make me feel better."

"Remus Lupin, if I say you look handsome, then I mean it! I would never lie to you."

His expression softened as he gazed into her eyes. "I've missed you, Lily. Summer holidays aren't any fun when I can't see you."

"Then why don't we spend some time together next summer?" she suggested. "At least a week or two… maybe more."

"Okay." He gave her hand a squeeze. "Let's plan on it."

***.*.***

"Do you want to get something to eat before we do our school shopping?" Remus asked when they arrived at Diagon Alley two hours later.

"Definitely," she replied, spotting the bright green and pink umbrellas outside of Florean Fortescue's. They ordered two cones: caramel-chocolate for Remus and strawberry-brownie for Lily.

They saw a few Hogwarts students while shopping, but none of them were in their social circle. It was nice being able to go into stores without experiencing a mad dash for school supplies.

"We'll have to do our shopping early from now on," Lily commented as they found their 4th year spellbooks in Flourish &amp; Blotts. She sat on the edge of the leather armchair that Remus was in. "I wish I could do my homework with you."

He looked up at her. "Me too. I suppose you'll be getting a head start with Snape, huh?" Remus tried to sound nonchalant about it, but he was inwardly annoyed that the Slytherin got to spend summers with Lily.

"Probably just Potions and Defense. Sev takes Arithmancy instead of Ancient Runes, so I'll be on my own with that until we're back at Hogwarts."

Remus and Lily always did their Runes assignments in the library because the Gryffindor common room was too noisy for concentration. Not to mention that it gave them a convenient excuse to spend some time alone. But now he wondered if that was really a good idea considering his hypersensitive body. Instead of the private nook they usually occupied, it would be better to sit at a main table around other people. Remus hoped that his hormones would calm down in a few months.

He glanced at Lily's leg on the armrest. The hem of her cotton sundress had ridden up above her knees. Remus could smell her vanilla lotion, which triggered a vision of a freshly showered Lily sitting on the edge of the tub, rubbing a generous amount into her creamy skin. She was about to remove her towel when Remus jumped out of his chair to put an end to his vivid imagination.

"Umm, we better pay for these before the queue gets too long."

"There's hardly anyone in here though," she pointed out.

"But we still have more stores to visit," he replied quickly, walking ahead of her so she couldn't see his burning face. "We have to get everything done before five." That would give them an hour to eat dinner before Remus' father arrived from the ministry to pick him up.

They went to Madam Malkin's for school robes and then to the Apothecary for potions ingredients. Lily wanted to brew some new ones. Remus tried to push aside the bitter feeling he got when he imagined her sitting beside Severus Snape as they worked companionably together. He didn't want to be one of those jealous prats who got insecure over male friends. Lily would hate that kind of behavior. _And besides, _Remus told himself, _I know she likes me and not Snape, so I needn't worry about it._

***.*.***

They stopped at a Pizzeria for dinner. The wizard owner showed them how to fold the thin slice in half and eat it the Italian way. They ended up devouring the small pizza (3 slices each), but ordered two extra boxes to take home with them. It was nearly 6 PM when they headed back to the Leaky Cauldron. Remus stopped outside of the entrance, put his bags down on the ground, and touched her arm. He was giving her his pleading puppy expression; something he only did when he wanted affection.

Lily set her shopping bags beside his and Remus bent to hug her. She slipped her arms around his waist, reaching up to touch his back, which felt broader and more muscled underneath her hands. Lily could smell something woodsy like aftershave. Her head went all fuzzy as they clung to each other out on the street. She still felt disorientated when Remus pulled back slightly. A moment later, his lips found their way to her cheek. He had never kissed her before.

"Thanks for meeting me today," he murmured.

And then he let go and Lily's eyes were open again. Remus looked just as dazed as she felt, and when he tried to pick up a shopping bag, he missed the handle on the first try. Lily turned her head to try and hide her smile. Knowing that Remus was still the same shy boy despite his bigger body was a comforting thought.

The Knight Bus arrived outside of the Leaky Cauldron ten minutes later. Lily stood on the first step, putting them at the same height. She brushed the sandy hair from his forehead to get a better look at the gold in his eyes. They reminded her of sunlight shining on water.

"I'll see you soon, Remus."

He smiled back at her. "Bye, Lily. Owl me in a few days?" he asked hopefully.

"Course I will." She pressed a kiss to his cheekbone; a gesture that was so familiar to her, yet it somehow managed to feel different now. Change was slowly approaching.


	6. First Christmas

_A/N: Happy New Year! Here's a long chapter to celebrate xD I tried to get this out sooner, but the muse was not cooperating (I blame it on mercury retrograde). This one went through a few drafts so hopefully I got it right o.O_

* * *

**First Christmas**

***.*.*.*.*.*.*.***

Remus was just about to add his name to the list of Gryffindor students remaining at Hogwarts when James appeared at his side. "Why are you staying for Christmas, Moony?"

He lowered the pen and turned to meet the hazel eyes of his friend. "My parents decided to visit family in Wales." It was true enough, although Remus could have gone if he'd really wanted to.

"You can stay with me if you like." James thumped him on the back. "No use being lonely here."

"Err, thanks for the invitation, but I won't be alone." Remus felt embarrassed because he knew what was coming.

"What do you mean?"

Sirius got a look at the notice board and answered for him. "Looks like Evans will be with him."

His declaration got James and Peter going, who joked about Lily sleeping in his bed. Remus spluttered that it would never happen as they weren't dating yet. "And even if we were, I wouldn't ask her to stay over!"

Peter grinned. "Yeah, but what if she wanted to? I doubt you'd turn her away if she showed up at the door."

James gave a snort. "Remus is such a gentleman that he probably would. It's a complete waste I say. Do you know how many blokes would kill to be in your shoes?"

Sirius slung an arm around his shoulder, making Remus stoop slightly. "It's alright, Moony. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy. Plus it would really ruin my reputation if you had a girl in your bed before I did." Sirius gave him a smirk. "And I have plans to make that a reality with McKinnon."

"Don't you think you should try for someone who actually likes you?" he asked.

"Nah, I prefer a challenge. You just watch Moony… McKinnon will surely fall for me by the end of term."

"Not gonna happen, mate," James told him. "Peter would have better luck with her over you."

"WHAT?" Sirius bellowed, letting go of Remus.

"Hey, leave me out of this!" Peter exclaimed nervously.

A mock fight ensued, which Remus ignored. He wrote his name under Lily's with a smile.

***.*.***

A handful of other Gryffindors had stayed behind as well. There was a group of rowdy 2nd year boys, a pair of 5th year prefects, and a 7th year girl. Lily and Remus hardly saw them in the common room though. The younger boys were always outside playing Quidditch or having snowball fights, while the older students retreated to the library to study for their OWLs and NEWTs.

Professor McGonagall brought in a tiny evergreen tree as Lily and Remus were playing a game of wizard chess before dinner. She set it on the floor near the window and with a wave of her wand, the tree expanded to its original size.

"I have some ornaments here if you would like to trim the tree," she told them.

"Thank you, Professor," they said in unison, causing the usually stern teacher to smile back at them.

The box was filled with golden stars that glowed softly, shiny baubles that changed colors, and enchanted snow globes. Lumos climbed to the top of the tree and didn't know how to get back down. Remus stood on a chair to rescue him. The black cat remained on the ground after that; settling on the red tartan tree skirt instead.

Lily switched on the wireless, turning the dials until she found a station playing carols. Remus liked listening to Lily's pretty voice as she sang along to the choruses. She got him to join in occasionally, which made both of them laugh as he couldn't carry a tune. The starry lights reflected off the frost-paned windows, lending a cozy atmosphere to the dim common room.

Remus lit some candelabras so they could finish their chess game. Lily won a close one and when he congratulated her, she gave him a brilliant smile that made his stomach do a flip. Her beauty still left him breathless sometimes.

"Shall we head down to dinner?"

Remus glanced at his wristwatch. It was fifteen minutes to seven. "Probably should."

They held hands as they descended the stairs: something they had never done in school before. The empty castle gave them more opportunities to be affectionate without worrying about gossip.

"Doesn't it almost feel like we're on our own?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, it does."

"If you weren't here, I'd find all of this quiet a bit eerie."

"I suppose you're right. The school seems larger without students clogging up the corridors."

"We should go exploring in the next few days," she suggested. "You know, take advantage of having free reign. I want to do all the fun things I've never had a chance to until now."

"Ah, so your adventurous spirit has awakened then," he added teasingly. Lily was known for being a serious student who rarely let loose.

"Perhaps it has," she replied with a smile. "I want to enjoy myself and not think about assignments. But I also don't want to do anything that will get us a detention."

Remus laughed. "Yeah, I don't either." He got into enough trouble during term. "You know what I would like though… to go flying. You up for it?"

Lily chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. "Well I haven't been on a broom since first year, but I'll try again if you help me."

Remus gave her hand a squeeze. "Course I will, Lily."

***.*.***

The common room emptied out at 11 PM on Christmas Eve. They went up to their dormitories when the Prefects did, but met back downstairs ten minutes later. Lily was wearing a powder pink dressing robe over her pajamas and carrying _'The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe' _in her hands.

"I read this every year," she explained as she plopped down beside him on the couch. "Do you have any traditions?"

"Just food ones. We always have a loaf of Bara Brith for Christmas morning. It's a Welsh bread made with dried fruit, tea, and honey."

"Sounds good, I'd love to try it."

"Mum will probably send me some. I'll share with you."

She smiled, leaning against his shoulder. Remus was glad that he could be close to her again without his body rebelling. His peak hypersensitivity had lasted until the end of October. Madame Pomfrey tried to give him a potion to dull his senses, but it made him too drowsy during his lessons. The smells and sounds of an enclosed classroom had been nearly unbearable: giving him pounding headaches that sapped his energy. Remus had spent most of his free time sleeping in his room. His wolfishness slowly dissipated in November and he started to feel normal again by December.

"Do you have a favorite memory of Christmas Eve?"

She thought for a couple of seconds. "Yes. Me and my sister made a tent in the living room because we wanted to see Father Christmas. Our parents came down at midnight and made us go back upstairs, but it was fun while it lasted." Her green eyes lit up. "We should make a tent too! Remus, let's stay in the common room tonight."

Lily's enthusiasm was contagious and he found himself agreeing. They used the Accio charm to summon their blankets and pillows, creating a sort of nest. The bed curtains were draped over the couch and two armchairs to create the tent canopy. Remus knew a cushioning charm for the floor and Lily filled a jar with blue flames for the lighting. Lumos naturally joined them inside their enclosure.

They took turns reading the book aloud. Remus finished a chapter, and when he looked over, Lily was asleep. Her arm was outside of the covers and he reached over to tuck it back under. "Sweet dreams," he said quietly, brushing a stray lock of hair from her cheek. She smiled at the gesture and murmured, "g'night," without opening her eyes.

***.*.***

Lily awoke sometime before dawn to use the loo. The dormitory bathrooms were very drafty during winter and she was freezing by the time she returned to the tent. Lily burrowed under the covers, but continued to shiver.

"Remus?" she said through chattering teeth, reaching a hand out to shake his shoulder.

"Hmm?" he mumbled.

"I'm cold. Can I get under the covers with you?"

He lifted his quilt in reply. Lily kept her own blanket tucked around her body as she snuggled next to his chest. Remus covered them, draping his arm over her as he did so. She warmed up in less than a minute and found herself drifting off to the sound of his steady breathing.

***.*.***

They enjoyed a few precious hours of peaceful slumber. Then Lumos decided to rudely walk over their pillows, meowing loudly. Remus was surprised to see the top of Lily's head when he opened his eyes. It took him a few seconds to remember her request, which he had mistaken for a dream. He smiled at the discovery; feeling a deep sense of contentment. Lumos snapped him out of his reverie with another cry.

Remus found his watch and saw that it was just after 7:30 AM. He would have loved to lay back down, but he knew that wasn't a good idea. They were still in the common room after all.

Remus touched her back. "Lily? It's time to get up now."

"Too sleepy," she mumbled.

"We need to sort out the tent before everyone comes downstairs. The Prefects might dock us points if they find out."

That got her attention. Lily sat up; long hair charmingly mussed from sleep. She gave him a groggy smile and wished him a Happy Christmas.

"Happy Christmas, Lily," he replied, reaching over to smooth down her auburn tresses. Lumos climbed over their legs and gave another loud meow. "I think he's telling us to hurry up," Remus interpreted. "This is the third time he's yelled."

She threw the covers away. "That must mean someone is awake. Come on!"

They quickly dismantled the tent and went up their separate staircases. Remus breathed a sigh of relief when he closed the door to his room. The risk had been entirely worth it of course. _I stayed with Lily the whole night, _he thought with a grin as he collapsed on his bed. Remus was reviewing his memories when he heard the group of 2nd year boys clatter down the stairs. Lumos had been just in time with his warning.

He summoned the pile of gifts from the foot of his bed. The packages from home contained several pairs of knitted socks and an assortment of sweets, including the Bara Brith loaf. He received Zonko's products and lots of candy from James, Sirius, and Peter. He opened Lily's gift last: a soft plaid shirt that smelled faintly of her lotion. Remus went over to the wardrobe to find his tan corduroys. He threw on his clothes, brushed his teeth, and then headed back downstairs.

A breakfast table had been set up in the common room for the holidays. All you had to do was say what you wanted and it appeared. Remus requested a pot of Earl Grey tea, sausage and eggs, plus extra plates and utensils for the bread. The breakfast was ready by the time Lily arrived in the common room. She had on a yellow toggle cardigan and indigo bell bottoms. She was also holding his gift: a hardcover edition of '_The Secret Garden.' _He had chosen it because of the embossed golden flowers on the boards and spine.

"Thank you so much, Remus, I love it!"

She placed the book on the table before draping her arms about his shoulders in a kind of hug from behind. He reached up to touch her hand. The boys gave a low whistle which caused Lily to release him.

"Pipe down, will you?" Remus asked with annoyance, but they only snickered.

"Oh don't mind them, they're just kids." Lily sat across from him. "Is this the bread you were telling me about?" He gave a nod as she took a bite. "Wow, so moist! Your mum sure knows how to bake."

Remus smiled. "Glad you like it. By the way, thanks for the shirt. It's a really nice color."

"You're welcome." She leaned forward a little, peering at him. "I had a feeling it would bring out the blue in your eyes. I like how they change depending on what you're wearing."

They chatted about their other gifts while they ate. Then Lily and Remus heard the 2nd years mention something about sledding. They exchanged an excited look over the table.

"Can we come too?" Lily asked.

"Sure," one of the boys replied. "We're going in an hour."

***.*.***

Hogwarts was covered in a foot of white snow that sparkled under the pale morning sunshine. Lily held onto Remus' arm as they traipsed through it with their tall boots. The chill air made their faces tingle, bringing a flush to their cheeks. Lily was bundled up in a belted forest green coat, white pom-pom hat, and matching gloves. Remus wore a navy blue parka with his faux-fur trimmed hood pulled up.

"I haven't gone sledding in years," Lily said as they headed for the steepest hill on the grounds.

"Yeah I think I was about nine… the sled was too small and my cousin accidentally knocked me off." He grimaced. "I rolled the rest of the way down."

Lily's eyes widened. "That's horrible! Did you get hurt?"

"Nah, I was alright, just a little dizzy."

The sleds turned out to be quite big and sturdy looking with runners and safety handrails. Lily chose to sit in the front. She leaned back against Remus, whose arms slipped around her waist. "How's that?" he asked. "Do you feel comfortable and secure?"

"Yes," she replied, gripping the handrails.

"Better hold onto her tight, Lupin," advised one of the boys.

"Why?"

The boy grinned. "You'll see. Let me know when you're ready and I'll give you a push."

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" he muttered.

Lily gave a nervous laugh. "Don't worry, it'll be fine."

But they were both screaming as they went down the hill in a burst of speed. The sled was clearly enchanted to go even faster. Lily had to keep her eyes open to make sure they didn't hit anything.

"Will it even be able to stop?" she yelled.

"I'll kill them if it doesn't!"

But to their relief, the sled began to slow as they approached the bottom of the hill. They came to a halt halfway in the large clearing. Lily's heart was beating fast from the rush of adrenaline. "Oh god, that was so scary."

Remus swore under his breath as he tried to get up. It took Lily a few seconds to pry her fingers loose from the rails and take his outstretched hand. But her legs were all wobbly and she fell into him. Remus' legs must have been wobbly too because they both went down in the snow. They started laughing over the whole situation.

When the breathless giggle attack ceased, Lily raised her head from Remus' chest. His eyes were shining playfully as he grinned at her. "Ah, that was the best laugh I've had in months," Remus said, licking his wind-chapped lips.

Lily moved her body up to meet his eyes. The action made them suddenly aware of their tangled limbs. It was a charged moment full of longing. All Lily had to do was lower her head to kiss him.

A pair of sleds skidded to a stop just a few yards away. "Oh sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," one boy called out.

"Don't lie, of course we did," another chimed in.

Remus looked furious and Lily whispered something to him. He gave a nod and they were up within seconds, gathering snowballs to chuck at them. There may have been a few harmless hexes thrown in for good measure too... just enough for a little revenge.

***.*.***

Lily performed drying charms on their clothes, but they were still cold (and hungry) when they entered the castle. Remus took her down a torch-lit corridor with paintings of food that lined the stone walls. He stopped in front of a giant fruit bowl. "This is a marauders secret," he said, turning to Lily. "Do you solemnly swear not to tell anyone?"

She raised her right hand. "I most solemnly swear."

He grinned. "Good." Remus tickled the pear, which transformed into a green handle with a loud chuckle. He opened the portrait door and said, "After you, my lady," with a gentlemanly bow.

Lily stepped inside a cavernous room that turned out to be the Hogwarts kitchens. About ten house elves were inside. Lily knew about them of course, although she had never seen one in person before. They were about the size of four-year-old children, but they reminded her more of wizened elders. She thought their pointed ears and huge eyes were rather adorable.

"Hello Mister Lupin, sir," said a high-pitched voice belonging to a female elf. She hurried towards them and gave a little curtsy. "Clover wishes you a very Merry Christmas, sir!"

"Thank you, Clover. Merry Christmas to you too! I hope you're getting enough breaks today."

She beamed at him. "Oh yes, Clover is leaving after the feast to see her family, sir!"

"I'm glad to hear that. This is my friend Lily Evans."

Clover gave another curtsy. "Hello, Miss Evans, it's a pleasure to meet one of Mister Lupin's other friends! Clover only knows Misters Black, Potter, and Pettigrew."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, Clover," she said with a smile. "And do the boys visit the kitchens often?"

"Yes, very often, miss, especially after Quidditch victories."

Lily turned to Remus. "Ah, so this is the secret to the common room parties! I did always wonder about that."

"Would Mister Lupin and Miss Evans like some hot chocolate?"

"Sounds great, Clover. Thank you."

They took off their gloves and scarves before sitting down at the table by the huge fireplace.

"I come here every month after leaving the hospital wing. Clover always gives me tons of food."

Lily smiled. "She seems very fond of you."

The house elf returned almost instantly, carrying a silver tray with cups of frothy cocoa and a plate of snowflake shaped cookies with white icing. The snack was delicious, but they needed something else to hold them over until the feast. Remus asked for bread, cheddar slices, and tongs. They positioned their chairs in front of the fire and made toasted cheese sandwiches over the flames.

Lily and Remus headed back to the common room a half-hour later; his arm around her back and hers around his waist.

"Today was so much fun," she commented. "I really felt like a kid again."

"Me too. It was by far the best Christmas I've ever had."

She looked up at him. "But we'll have lots more together, won't we?"

"Absolutely," he replied, pulling her closer to his side. "That's a promise, Lily."


	7. Birthday Surprises

_Intro Note: Happy belated Valentine's Day! Here's an extra serving of sugary fluff with a side of plot setup for you ^3^_

* * *

**Birthday Surprises**

***.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.***

Lily awoke on January 30th with a hopeful, excited feeling. Surely something good was bound to happen on her fifteenth birthday. She felt energized as she cleaned up in the bathroom. Marlene McKinnon's bed curtains were still closed when she got back into her room.

She pulled them aside. "Lena, wake up. You'll miss breakfast."

Marlene grumbled that she didn't care, but Lily kept at it until her friend sat up. Her blonde curls were wild and tangled. She staggered out of bed, nearly tripping over her shoes in the process. Lily bit down on her lip to stop herself from laughing. Marlene was always a mess in the mornings.

"Want me to wait for you?"

"No, that's okay," she replied through a yawn. "See you in Potions."

Lily dressed quickly and bounded down the stairs. Remus was already in the common room. It came as a pleasant surprise when he enveloped her in a warm hug. He normally wouldn't do that if anyone was around.

"Happy birthday, Lily."

She smiled up at him. "Well it's certainly starting out as a good one."

"And it will get better as the day goes on."

"Oh really? Does that mean you have something special planned?"

"Wait and see," he replied with a smile.

A lot of Gryffindors at breakfast passed along their wishes. Severus even stopped by her table in Potions, pretending to borrow some ingredients so he could whisper a quick "happy birthday."

"Thank you for the lovely crystal vials," she whispered back. He had sent his gift by owl the night before. His mouth curled up at the corners before he went back to his work station.

"Don't you feel insulted?" Marlene asked in an undertone. "It's like he's ashamed of you."

"I was at first, but I understand it now. He'd be ostracized by his house if they knew he was friends with a Muggle-born. They could do something horrible to him."

"Hmm, I suppose you have a point." She glanced over at Severus with a frown. "But the whole thing is really unfair."

"I know, Lena. All of the prejudice in this world is unfair. I hate it." She was thinking of Remus now and what he would face if students ever discovered that he was a werewolf.

James and Sirius made their usual loud entrance. Remus slouched in behind them with Peter. He smiled over at her. The full moon was only days away. Lily knew that he must already be feeling it, yet he could still smile through his pain. She admired that strength, but it also made her feel helpless that there was nothing she could do to help him. _No, maybe there is!_

Lily was so excited about her idea that it was hard to concentrate. Luckily Marlene offered to do most of the work as a birthday favor. She hung back at the end of class to speak to Professor Slughorn.

"What can I do for you, Miss Evans?" he asked jovially when she approached his desk.

"Sir, I'm writing a paper about werewolves, and I came across something in a book that mentioned failed potion cures. I was wondering if there's any new developments among Potioneers you know?"

"Not that I am aware of, but I can make inquiries for you. One of my former students is a very accomplished Potioneer."

"Thank you, sir. I really appreciate it. I know a cure is probably impossible, but treating the symptoms would be a realistic goal. Werewolves are only dangerous because they lose their minds when they transform. But what if a potion was invented that allowed a werewolf to remember their humanity? Everyone would be a lot safer then."

"An astute observation, Miss Evans! I will be sure to relay your thoughts to Mr. Belby when I speak with him. Perhaps it will pique his interest. He's a brilliant man who would certainly be up to the task."

Lily felt cautiously optimistic as she hurried to History of Magic. At least she had set the wheels in motion. _And if he doesn't want to start any research, I most certainly will._

***.*.***

Lily and Remus went to the library during the afternoon free period. Their usual nook was taken, but they found a table near a window seat. The sun was slanting in through the diamond panes, illuminating the spiraling dust motes. Lily cast the Muffliato charm before sitting down on the worn velvet cushion to open the window. A refreshing breeze drifted into the stuffy library. When she faced forward, Remus had a small purple box in his hand. He gave her a nervous smile as he sat beside her.

He held it out wordlessly. Inside was a silver link bracelet with amethyst beads and a dangling lily charm. "Oh, it's so pretty! Thank you! Help me put it on?"

His cheeks reddened as his big fingers fumbled with the clasp. Remus seemed even more anxious when the bracelet was on her wrist. "Umm, Lily, will you close your eyes for a second?"

"Okay," she replied, shutting them. Her pulse was racing now. _Is he going to kiss me? _But he didn't. Remus took her hand, setting it palm up on her thigh. She felt the ticklish sensation of a marker as he wrote something across it.

"You can look."

It took a moment for her brain to register the meaning of the Runic script. She met his eyes; heart soaring with happiness. "I love you too, Remus."

His bright smile gave Lily the courage to make the next move. He bent his head down to meet her halfway. His lips were soft and gentle under hers. The atmosphere changed when he ran his fingers along the nape of her neck; igniting every nerve ending in her body. For all of their inexperience, they managed snogging well enough.

Remus rested his forehead against hers when they paused to catch their breath. His eyes were still closed. "I should have told you earlier," he murmured. "I was scared, but I won't be anymore."

"Scared? Why?"

"Of change, of something going wrong." He leaned back to look at her. "Of being abandoned if it didn't work out."

"Oh, Remus, that will never happen." She cupped the side of his face. "I'm going to love you my whole life."

Tears filled his eyes. "But how do you know?"

"Because I've decided to. I won't ever let anything go wrong and I know you won't either."

He pulled her into a hug. It was a while before he could speak again. "No, I won't." They stretched out on the window seat. Remus twined their fingers together. "You're so determined, so strong. You make me believe that I can be those things too."

"Funny you should say that, because I've always seen you the same way. I suppose we inspire each other."

He smiled back at her. They talked the whole time: sharing their hearts in a way they never had before. Years of emotion were finally given a voice.

***.*.***

Remus floated through the rest of the day. His friends noticed his spaciness and he told them the good news on his way to dinner. They made a fuss over it: ruffling his hair and thumping him on the back as they congratulated him.

Sirius grinned. "Did you kiss her, Moony?"

He could feel his ears turning red.

"He did!" Peter crowed.

"And? What was it like?"

"Really nice," he replied sheepishly.

"Oh come on, you have to give us more details than that!" Sirius insisted.

"No way. It's private."

"But we always tell you," James said.

"Yeah, well, this is different. I love Lily, so I'm keeping it to myself."

They teased him for being a romantic sap, but Remus didn't let it get to him. "You'll feel the same about it when you fall in love. Some things are sacred."

"Moony's words of wisdom," Peter quipped, trying to keep up with their longer strides.

He saw that Lily had saved a seat for him.

"Evans, you need a nickname since you're Moony's girl now," Sirius said, reaching for the potatoes.

"Little Red," James suggested.

"Good one," agreed Peter.

They were of course implying Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. Remus frowned. It was too obvious. His friends explained away 'Moony' as referring to his introspective nature of "mooning about." But 'Little Red' might set warning bells off.

"No," Lily replied. "I'd rather you keep calling me Evans."

James shook his head. "Too formal. You're practically one of us."

"Flora," Sirius declared. "You know, after the flower goddess."

"Hey, I just remembered something!" Peter exclaimed. "My mum has moonflowers in her garden. They're called that because they only open at night. Weird coincidence, huh?"

"Yeah it is. Guess you two were always meant to be," James said, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

Lily and Remus exchanged a smile. When it was time for dessert, a lemon vanilla cake with sparkler candles appeared in front of the birthday girl. Remus had arranged it with Clover the house elf. Lily kissed his cheek in thanks before blowing them out.

There was a party in the common room later that night. James and Sirius used the invisibility cloak to get Butterbeer and snacks from the kitchens. The 4th years lounged around, toasting marshmallows, and playing Exploding Snap while listening to Lily's Beatles records.

Sirius tried to hit on Marlene, but she was having none of it. "I'm not interested so give it a rest." Remus could tell that he was upset. Girls never refused him. Marlene cheered Sirius up somewhat by telling him about a 5th year Hufflepuff named Julia who liked him.

"The reserve chaser with long hair?" James asked.

"Yeah, that's her."

"She's not bad, mate. I think you'd like her. I'll point her out to you tomorrow."

Remus hoped she was pretty enough to distract him from Marlene. He didn't want Lily's closest friend getting hurt. Sirius had many good qualities, but sincerity with girls wasn't one of them.

The Prefects broke up the party at ten. "Meet me down here in an hour," Lily whispered at the staircase.

Remus was filled with euphoria as he cleaned up for bed. He pulled on a pair of striped pajama bottoms and a thermal henley before glancing in the wardrobe mirror. Remus tried to smooth his shaggy, chin-length hair. His fringe was now long enough to tuck behind his ears.

Lily's words from a few months ago floated back to him. _"I like being able to see so much of your face." _He could still recall the sensation of her fingertip running across the scar that cut through his eyebrow. Remus smiled at the memory.

"Look at our lovesick puppy primping over there," James said.

"Isn't he adorable?" Sirius asked.

"Absolutely precious," Peter replied with a snicker.

All three of them were piled on one bed, watching him with mischievous grins. James and Sirius started role-playing as his parents.

"Remember that it's a school night, young man."

Sirius raised the pitch of his voice. "Your father and I expect you back at midnight."

"Don't make us ground you," James warned in a stern tone.

"We'll come down and get you if you're late."

Remus tossed a pillow at them, but they only laughed harder. "You better not! I'll come up when I'm ready."

James let out an indignant gasp. "How dare you speak to your mother that way! Apologize this instant!"

He heaved a sigh. "Please don't come downstairs and spy on us or do anything embarrassing. This is really important to me."

"We know, Moony," Sirius said. "I swear we won't."

"Thanks. Well, see you later."

Remus arrived in the common room early. He lay down on the couch. The approaching full moon made him feel lethargic and achy. Remus closed his eyes as he waited, drifting off after a minute. He awoke when Lily snuggled beside him, covering their bodies with a blanket. Remus stared back at her; lost in her smiling eyes and mouth. He traced the contours of her face with his index finger, stopping on her flower petal lips. "Am I dreaming?"

"No," she whispered. Remus moved down her chin until he reached the hollow of her throat. He felt the throb of her pulse underneath his fingers. Surely it was real. Lily touched her lips to his, giving him soft little kisses that made him smile. "Now do you believe you're awake?"

He held her close. Their hearts were beating in the same rhythm. "I believe it," he replied, looking into her eyes.

She slipped her arm around his waist. "Thank you for today, Remus. You made my birthday so special."

"You're welcome." He ran his hand through her freshly washed hair. "You know, I think I fell in love with you on my twelfth birthday when you gave me that cupcake."

Lily smiled. "I remember us falling asleep on the couch. Can we do that again?"

"Yes. I couldn't leave you tonight."

"Good, because I'm too comfortable to move." She rubbed his back. "Remus, are you feeling ill?"

"I was before you got here, but I'm fine now." He was too happy to be hurting. She could heal his pain with only the simplest touch. "You've always been my cure, Lily."

Now it was her turn to blink back tears. He kissed her until her eyes fluttered closed. She tucked herself near his collarbone; lips brushing against the spot on his chest where he had been attacked. She seemed to instinctively know the wound was there, hidden underneath his shirt. He felt such a strong outpouring of love from Lily, and for Lily. It was as though the warmth of the sun was inside of him: pushing out the cold destruction of the moon. Instead of darkness, Remus was made of shining light.

* * *

_Closing Note__: I played "A Window to the Past" from the Prisoner of Azkaban soundtrack on repeat while writing the love confession. "With You" by Priscilla Ahn inspired the romantic mood of the closing scene. I'll put together a song mix for these cuties soon!_

_Free snuggles with Remus (or Lily) to everyone who reviews ;)_


	8. Lazy Summer Days

_A/N: I hope everyone is having a lovely Spring! Here's a warm weather chapter to celebrate sunny days :D To make up for my hiatus, I put together a music mix for Remus &amp; Lily (link is on my profile). A lot of the songs go with this chapter _^.^ _Enjoy!_

* * *

**Lazy Summer Days**

***.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.***

Lily was waiting on her front porch when Remus stumbled off the Knight Bus. He felt sick from the ride, but seeing her run across the grass barefoot brought a smile to his face. Remus took off his backpack before she launched herself into his arms. She laughed when he lifted her up and spun her around.

"You're so tan!" she said when he put her down.

"Yeah, I've spent a lot of time outside this summer. I played Quidditch with James and Sirius nearly every day last week."

"And your hair is a lot shorter too."

He reached up to touch the back of his exposed neck. "Mum made me get a trim. Does it look bad? Because I'm still not used to it."

Lily slipped her hand in his. "No, it's nice."

"Are you sure that your parents don't mind me staying for a week?"

"Absolutely sure. Lena was here for two weeks last month. They like meeting my friends." She looked up at him. "Are you nervous?"

"Errr, yes, a lot actually."

She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Don't be. My parents will adore you."

When they got on the porch, Lily led him over to the seating area. She pointed to a mug on the table. "It's an anti-nausea potion. I figured you'd need it after riding that awful bus."

"Yeah, I definitely do." He leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Thank you, Lily."

She smiled at him. "You're welcome."

They sat on the rocking chairs while Remus drank it. The potion tasted bitter, but his motion sickness went away within minutes. _Remain calm, you can do this, _he encouraged himself as they walked into the living room. Lily's parents stood up from the couch to greet him.

"Hello Remus, welcome to our home," her mother said warmly. "I'm Helen and this is my husband, Michael."

"It's very nice to meet you." He shook their hands. "Thank you for allowing me to stay over."

Michael Evans was about the same height as him, with graying hair and pale eyes. Lily took after her mother from the auburn hair to the small stature. Helen's eyes were a duller green, but the shape was identical.

All four of them went into the kitchen to have tea. Lily prepared their cups with milk and sugar while he took a lemon bar off the tray. "These are great," he said after swallowing a bite.

Lily's parents were friendly and talkative; putting him more at ease. They stayed downstairs for about fifteen minutes until he was taken up to the guest room to drop off his backpack.

"Here's the bathroom and that closed door is Tuney's." Her sister was thankfully away at a friend's house. "And here's my room."

His eyes instantly went to the small paper lanterns strung across the ceiling. A sheer net canopy hung above her bed and some Beatles posters were tacked up on the faded floral wallpaper. A breeze fluttered the white curtains, setting off a tinkling bell chime. Lumos had been napping on the cushioned window seat, but he gave a big stretch, and jumped down to wind himself around Remus' legs.

He crouched down to scratch his head. "Hey, Lumos." The cat gave a friendly meow in reply.

When he stood up again, Lily was sitting on the bed. She patted the spot beside her. Remus' feet sank into the white shag area rug as he made his way over. He sat down on the patchwork quilt, glancing over at the bedside table. There was a framed photo of them sitting at the edge of the lake. Lily was leaning against his shoulder and smiling brightly at the camera. Remus watched his miniature self lean down to kiss her. He had a copy of that same photograph in his own room.

He turned back to her. "That was a good day, huh?"

"Sure was," she replied, moving closer.

And then his lips were on hers… months without kissing had made them hungry. Remus stopped when he realized the bedroom door was still open. "Your parents might see."

She smiled against his mouth. "They won't come up yet. Just hold me for a bit."

His arms went around her narrow back and he was enveloped in her familiar scent as they clung to each other.

"I missed you so much."

"Me too, Lily." They had talked on the phone a lot, but hearing her voice couldn't compare to actually being with her. "I can't believe I'm in your room, and on your bed no less."

The vibration of her laugh passed into him. Her eyes were sparkling playfully when she met his gaze. They let go of each other when Lumos leaped up to join them. While Lily pet her cat, Remus took in the rest of the room:

A powder blue shelf full of novels, stuffed animals on a wicker seat in the corner, messy desk stacked with textbooks and rolls of parchment, schoolbag draped over a wooden chair. The wall above the desk featured an art collage made from postcards and magazine clippings. A colorful Indian scarf was draped across her dressing table. He noticed lots of decorative boxes, quartz clusters, and candles scattered over the surface. She had stuck photos of friends and family around the mirror frame.

"Your room is so nice. Very Bohemian."

"Thanks. I found a lot of things at street markets in London. They have great deals on imports."

"Is there another one soon? Maybe we could go together."

"Yeah, in a few days actually. And while we're in the city, we can stop by Diagon Alley to pick up our school supplies."

***.*.***

In the evening, they watched _**Willy Wonka &amp; The Chocolate Factory **_on TV. Remus took a quick shower afterwards. He picked up Lily's bottle of vanilla lotion, and without thinking, started rubbing it on his arms. He knocked on her bedroom door to let her know the shower was free. Lily took some pajamas out of a dresser drawer before walking over to him.

She sniffed the air. "Did you put my lotion on?"

"Uhh, yes," he admitted sheepishly. "I like the way it smells… you know, because it's yours."

Lily gave him a smile. "You're so cute, Remus." She tugged on the hem of his Yellow Submarine t-shirt. "And I like your shirt too."

"Yeah? You can borrow it after I leave if you want."

"Thanks, I'd like that. Why don't you read in here while I'm getting cleaned up?"

"Okay."

She closed the door behind her. The paper lanterns were plugged in and Lily had lit the candles on her dresser. It created a nice atmosphere, but the lighting was too dim for reading. Remus switched on the bedside lamp to search for a book. He chose _**Watership Down **_by Richard Adams and then stretched out on her bed.

Lily returned half an hour later. She was wearing a knee-length kimono robe patterned with flowers. Her damp hair brushed his cheek when she leaned down to kiss him. "I don't want to kick you out, but my parents know you're in here so…"

"Yeah of course, I understand."

Lily gave him a hug at the door. The silky fabric was cool and slippery beneath his palms.

"Goodnight," she whispered against his neck.

He gently kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams, Lily."

Remus crossed the hall to the guest room. Lumos followed him inside; jumping onto the bed before him. He chuckled as he climbed under the sheet. "Thanks for keeping me company," Remus said, scratching between his ears. Lumos gave a deep, rumbling purr. So there he was with Lily's cat, reading Lily's book, and catching the scent of Lily's lotion. He smiled as he settled back on the pillows.

***.*.***

It was after ten in the morning and Remus still wasn't awake. Lily couldn't wait anymore. She crept quietly into the guest room. He had kicked the covers off; revealing his checked boxer shorts and lean, muscled legs. Lily felt herself blushing. It was the first time she had seen him so unclothed. One arm was flung above his head, while the other rested on his midsection. Remus' brow was furrowed as though he were having a bad dream. She smoothed her fingers over his forehead until his expression softened. He shifted onto his side, giving her enough space to sit down on the mattress. That's when his eyes opened.

"Morning sleepyhead," she said with a smile. "It's almost 10:30."

He rubbed his eyes. "Sorry. I didn't mean to sleep so late."

"It's okay. What were you dreaming about?"

"Hogwarts… I got a D on my Potions exam."

She touched the side of his face. "Oh honey, you're that worried about the class?"

"I s'pose I am… you know, O.W.L. year and all."

"Then we can be partners."

"What about Marlene? Won't she mind?"

"No, she's much better in Potions now. You need my help more than she does."

He gave her a little smile. "Thanks, Lily. I barely scraped by last term. I didn't want to say anything because I was embarrassed. I mean it's your best subject and I'm just pathetic at it."

"Well that's about to change because I'll teach you how it's done," she said confidently.

He laughed. "Yeah, no doubt you will. Did you have any good dreams?"

"Yes, we were at the park. So that's where we're going today." She got up. "You get dressed and I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Sure thing."

***.*.***

They packed up some snacks in the early afternoon and rode their bikes over. Lily was relieved that the spot under the willow tree was vacant. She spread down an old blanket for them to lounge on. They lay there quietly for a minute: listening to the pretty birdsong and watching the long, trailing branches sway gently in the wind.

"It's so peaceful," whispered Remus.

She turned on her side to face him. "I always wanted to come here with you."

He ran his index finger along her cheek, where a light dusting of freckles appeared every summer without fail. Remus was lucky that he tanned in the sun. His skin was several shades darker than hers now. Lily touched the downy golden hair on his forearms. He was impossibly handsome. _Like the sun god, Apollo, _she mused, smiling.

"What are you thinking of?"

She told him without hesitation and he gave an embarrassed laugh. Remus wasn't good with compliments. Lily supposed he still felt like that small, sickly boy inside, but he was strong now. The illness was only evident a few days before the full moon and a few days after. About a week… the same amount of time as a woman's period. It was almost uncanny how many symptoms the two "monthly curses" shared with each other: hormonal imbalances, body and headaches, sleeplessness, lack of appetite and energy. Transforming into a werewolf surely amplified the pain of cramps a hundred-fold though.

Lily continued to stroke his arm. "I received a note from Damocles Belby a few days ago. He said the research is going well."

He smiled. "Yeah? That's awesome!"

"I know. It's in the preliminary stages right now, but I truly believe that he'll come up with something, Remus. I just have a good feeling in my heart, and it's not wishful thinking either. I can't really describe how I know, but I do."

His hand dropped down to her waist and she moved closer to him. "Have you become a Seer all of a sudden?"

She returned his smile. "I dunno, perhaps I have."

He kissed her long and slow; making her dizzy with longing. Her peasant top had ridden up, and she could feel his hot fingertips on the bare skin at her waist. Lily wasn't sure how long their make-out session lasted, but they were both breathless and euphoric by the end of it.

Remus rose from his reclining position. "I think we need a distraction." He started to pick some small daisies. When he collected enough of them, he asked her to sit up. She did so with a smile. Remus took her braid in his left hand, and with his right, began to thread the flower stems into her hair. "Beautiful… like the goddess Flora."

Lily gave him a chaste kiss. "Should we have some food now?"

He nodded. She unpacked two thermoses of iced tea and a container of strawberry scones from her tote bag. They leaned against the tree trunk while they ate. It was a perfect, blissful day. _And there will be more like this too._

***.*.***

Remus and Lily sat on the porch in the early morning; blankets draped around their shoulders, and hands wrapped around warm cups of coffee. A barn owl appeared out of the mist. It landed on the railing in front of them. Lily retrieved two letters, and surprisingly enough, one was addressed to him.

"Oh my god, Remus, do you know what these are!"

They lifted the wax seals to find Gryffindor Prefect badges inside.

"I knew you'd get it, but I wasn't expecting one," he told her. "I had a detention last term."

"That isn't a big deal. You deserve this badge just as much as I do. Let's pin them on! Mum and dad will be so proud of us."

Remus smiled as he imagined the faces of his own parents once they found out. Being a Prefect was a lot of responsibility, but he would do his best to be a good one. Professor Dumbledore was giving him another opportunity. _I won't let him down._

The doorbell rang after lunch. Lily returned with Severus Snape, who looked very annoyed at finding him there. "Sev is a Prefect too! Hang out with Remus while I get some snacks."

Snape was forced to sit on the other side of the couch because Lumos was occupying the armchair. Remus glanced over at the surly boy. "Congratulations on getting Prefect."

"Thanks, you too." Awkward silence. "Have you been here long?"

"Yeah, since earlier this week."

Snape pointed to his Led Zeppelin t-shirt. "I like Pink Floyd better. Dark Side of the Moon is a good album."

Remus may have been imagining it, but he thought there was a knowing look in his eyes when he said "moon."

Lily came back in carrying a tray of lemonade and shortbread cookies. She placed it on the coffee table and then sat down between them. Lily chatted excitedly about the perks that went along with being a Prefect. Snape didn't say too much and he left after drinking his glass of lemonade.

"He wasn't that unsociable with Lena," Lily said when they heard the front door close.

"It's fine. Two of my friends used to bully him after all."

She frowned. "But you didn't, so Sev shouldn't hold that against you. I'll talk to him about it."

"Lily, please don't. He'd probably get angry if you brought it up. I'll see him around more often now. Maybe he'll change his mind about me on his own."

"Alright… but if he's ever rude, I will say something to him."

Remus hoped it wouldn't come to that.

***.*.***

Steady rain showers on the following day kept them indoors. Remus and Lily took advantage of the gloomy weather by doing some homework at the kitchen table. They finished their Runic translations and an essay for Care of Magical Creatures.

Lily closed her Charms textbook. "I'm tired. Want to take a nap upstairs for a bit?"

"Yeah, definitely."

It was chilly inside her bedroom so they burrowed under the quilt. Only one day remained for them. "I don't want you to leave," she said, tracing his jawbone. "Should I ask my parents to let you stay for another week?"

"No, I don't want to impose. Your parents like me right now and I want to keep it that way, you know?"

She chewed on her bottom lip. "I guess I'm just being a baby about it."

He pressed a kiss to her palm; making her body tingle pleasantly.

"Then I must be a baby too because I'd be with you all the time if I could."

Lily smiled. "Really?"

"Yes, love. Never doubt it."

They kissed for a little while. Then Lily turned the other way so he could curl himself around her. Napping together at Hogwarts was nice, although not always relaxing due to the lack of privacy. Being in her own room brought a contentment that she would miss once they returned to school. With Remus' warm chest at her back, Lily drifted off to the soothing patter of raindrops.


	9. Confrontation

_A/N: Well it has arrived… the drama/angst chapter o_o Everything has been light and happy until now, but I think it needed just a bit of conflict. There won't be anymore super emotional scenes after this though. _

_I also want to thank everyone for 1,000+ views! I'm thrilled that so many lovely readers have tried out my fic :D Hugs to all of you who have stuck with me until now!_

* * *

**Confrontation**

***.*.*.*.*.***

Lily and Remus went into the large Prefect carriage on the train. She locked eyes with Severus and gave him half a smile, but said nothing because he was sitting with the other Slytherins. Every house was clustered together that way, which she found disappointing as she knew the 5th year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. She said hello to them before joining the older Gryffindor students.

The Head Boy and Girl arrived within five minutes. They explained the rules for patrolling and point taking for the new Prefects. "One thing we'll be doing differently this year is going on rounds with other houses," the Ravenclaw Head Girl explained.

"Professor Dumbledore was adamant that inter-house cooperation is imperative in light of current issues regarding blood status." The Gryffindor Head Boy tried not to let his eyes drift over to the Slytherins when he said this. "If any problems are reported, the punishment could be severe. So get along unless you want to lose your badge and the privileges that go along with it."

They patrolled for about ten minutes until the temptation of talking with their friends became too great. Remus leaned down to give Lily a quick kiss. "I'll see you in a bit."

As soon as he opened the compartment door, Sirius started in on him. "Don't think you can give us detentions just because you have that badge, Moony."

Remus plopped down beside Peter. "I wouldn't even attempt it."

"You'd better not," James added with a grin.

"No worries there," he replied, reaching for a chocolate frog. Remus told them about the 'inter-house cooperation' rounds.

"Same years or mixed grades?" asked Peter.

"Same years. I don't mind anyone… well, except for Snape. I know he's Lily's friend, but I can tell he doesn't like me."

A fierce expression crossed James' face. "That greasy git better not start anything with you."

"We'll put him in his place if he does," Sirius promised.

"Thanks, but I think I can handle it." Remus wouldn't be making any complaints. He loved his friends, but they could take things too far sometimes.

***.*.***

Remus got paired up with Snape at the beginning of October. They would only be patrolling for an hour, but he dreaded it all the same. Remus tried to keep the conversation going by bringing up O.W.L coursework. "Do you know what you want to do after Hogwarts?" he asked.

"Potioneer. What about you?"

"I don't really know. My best subjects are Charms and Defense, so probably something relating to those."

"You might have difficulty finding a job," Snape said.

His casual tone caught him completely off guard. "What do you mean?" asked Remus, pulse racing.

"Don't play stupid with me." He sneered. "How Lily can overlook your _condition_ is beyond me. We both know that a creature like you isn't good enough for her."

Remus often thought the same thing, but hearing his inner fears spoken aloud felt a thousand times worse. The suddenly hostile situation caused Remus to speak without thinking. "Sounds to me like you're jealous. We both know that you're in love with Lily, after all."

Snape moved so fast that he didn't even have time to react. Remus was slammed against the wall with a knock back jinx. "Don't say another word," he hissed, holding his wand to Remus' throat.

He tried to reach for his own wand, but Snape delivered a stinging hex to his hand. _What am I doing? I don't need magic to defend myself! _Remus punched him in the stomach. Then he used Expelliarmus to disarm Snape while he was doubled over in pain.

"Of course you'd play dirty," he gasped.

"You're the one who attacked me! Look, I understand why you hate me. No one could be close to Lily without falling for her. And if your friendship was anything like mine, then she surely made you feel special and accepted. I'd probably hate you too if the situation was reversed."

"Just shut up, Lupin." He straightened up to glare at him. "This isn't about me being jealous, it's about you ruining Lily's life!"

Remus frowned. "How am I going to ruin it?"

"Oh come on, I'm sure you've thought about marrying her someday. What if you passed your taint onto your kids? And if anyone found out about you, she'd be an outcast too. Maybe you should think logically about this instead of being so bloody selfish!" Snape found his wand a few yards away and snatched it up. "If you care about Lily, don't drag her down with you. She's a brilliant witch. She deserves to have a great future." And with that, he stalked off in the opposite direction.

Remus leaned his back against the stone wall; sliding down until he reached the cold floor. He rested his forehead on his knees. _Snape's right… what the hell am I doing?_

***.*.***

Lily could tell that Remus was not himself on the following morning. He seemed depressed and his eyes were shadowed with dark circles. Lily suggested they go down to the lake during the afternoon free period. She held his hand as they walked across the lawns, but he didn't thread their fingers together as he usually did. Remus was clearly upset about something.

"Okay, what's going on?" she asked as they sat underneath a tree. "Why didn't you get any sleep last night?"

"I was worrying about my assignments," Remus replied, looking away from her. "I have three essays to finish by the end of the week."

"Honey, I know that isn't why. What did Sev say to you?"

He hesitated for a moment. "I'd rather not get into it."

"Please, Remus. I think I can guess, but I want to hear it from you before I talk to him."

He nervously started pulling up handfuls of grass. "Lily, can you just leave it alone?"

"No, I can't. It's obviously bothering you quite a lot, and if Sev was rude to you, I need to know about it."

Remus gave in after that, and spoke to the ground as he recounted what had occurred. "Snape's right you know… I am being selfish. I'll ruin your life," he said, voice shaking.

"No, you won't!" Lily put her hands on his shoulders so he would look at her. "God, Remus, the only way you could ruin my life is by breaking up with me. I told you before that I'll always love you. I thought you felt the same?"

"I do, Lily, but how can I stay with you when I'll just become a burden? I'm only a shackle holding you back."

"Stop it right now, that isn't true!"

His eyes were full of pain. "But what if I can't get a decent job after Hogwarts? What good will I be if I can't provide any financial support? And then you'd have to take care of me every month on top of that. So you see, I would be a burden. And if we had a kid who was born a werewolf I'd never be able to live with myself!" Remus wiped away the tears before they could fall down his cheeks. "I don't think I can do this."

Lily pulled him into a hug. "Remus, I know you're scared about the future, but those awful things aren't going to happen. Taking care of you when you're ill isn't a burden, it's something I want to do because I love you. And I know that when I don't feel well, you'll take care of me too. That's how relationships work." She took in a shaky breath. "What Severus said was so unbelievably wrong. We can't let that kind of bigotry affect us. We have to fight through it, okay?"

He made a noise of agreement. She held him for a minute longer before pulling away. His tear-stained face broke her heart. Lily hated that Severus had hurt him so deeply.

"I'd better clean myself up. I can't go to class like this."

She gave him a gentle kiss. "Alright. I'll see you later then."

While Remus headed for the castle, Lily walked towards the Owlery to send a letter.

_Sev- meet me in the second classroom on the fourth floor at 8:45 this evening. If you choose not to show up, I will march over to the Slytherin table tomorrow and make a scene. I'm sure you don't want that. -L_

***.*.***

Severus arrived five minutes late with a guilty expression. Lily started yelling right away. "How dare you say all of those vile things to Remus last night! Do you have any idea the damage you've caused?"

"I was only trying to help," he said in a defensive tone. "Do you really want to have a werewolf baby? Be sensible about this, Lily!"

She was so furious that she nearly jinxed him. "Werewolves are not born, they are created through violence. Our children would be completely fine!"

"But you don't know that for certain. There haven't been any documented cases of interbreeding. And did you know that if two transformed werewolves mate during the full moon, the female will give birth to a litter of pups? Have you actually come to terms with what Remus is?"

"Yes, I have! He is a person with a one night curse. Witches and wizards can transfigure themselves into animals, yet no one says they've lost their humanity," she shot back.

"That's because they keep their minds. Lupin becomes a savage beast. If you crossed his path while he was a werewolf, he would attack you! Don't tell me that doesn't frighten you, Lily."

"Of course it does, but he locks himself up. And a Potioneer is currently working on developing an antidote for their temporary madness."

He narrowed his dark eyes. "How do you know?"

"Because it was my idea. Slughorn put me into contact with a former student of his. If he succeeds, werewolves won't be as dangerous anymore. They'll have a better life."

"That's a big if, Lily."

"Well it's something at least!"

He paused briefly. "I probably didn't go about it the right way, but I said what I did because I'm worried. I only want what's best for you."

"Don't you dare pull that condescending excuse! I know perfectly well what is best for me. You had no right to say any of that to him! I thought you'd have more sympathy for his situation, but I guess I was wrong about you." She wiped angry tears from her eyes. "You're just as cruel and prejudiced as everyone else!"

"I'm sorry, Lily." He exhaled. "I shouldn't have done it."

"Tell Remus that."

"Alright. Just… please forgive me."

"I will if you talk to him about it. Sev, you're my oldest friend. That's why I'm so upset. I thought you'd be on my side… that you'd understand how important Remus is to me."

"I do understand," he said softly.

"Then why did you do it?"

He met her eyes. "Because I love you."

The admission did not come as a surprise. Deep down, Lily had always known about his one-sided feelings. "That isn't a valid reason to hurt someone I love."

"I know that. It's only an excuse for my behavior. And I regret it now."

She gave his arm a push. "Good. You should regret it."

"Lily, I don't want to lose our friendship," he said after a moment.

"Neither do I, but it will have to end if you can't accept Remus. You know that, right?"

He nodded. "It may take some time, but I'll try to accept him for you."

***.*.***

Remus stared into the fire while he waited for Lily to return. He hadn't wanted her to go. Sitting there made him feel helpless and pathetic. _I should have hid it better. I shouldn't have let Lily know that he got to me. _Remus knew that Snape was just the catalyst. His insecurities had always been there… lying dormant, and waiting to be resurrected. Self-loathing wasn't easy to conquer.

He raised his eyes to see Lily approaching. She gave him a tired smile as she sat across his lap; legs thrown over the side of the armchair. She snuggled into him. The few people in the common room grumbled their annoyance at having to witness a display of affection.

His fears were still there, but Lily's presence brought him comfort. _Perhaps things won't be so difficult as long as we're together. _Remus needed optimistic thoughts to keep him strong. He recalled Lily's words at the lake. No matter what the future had in store, they would fight through it.


	10. Freedom

_A/N: I would have released this chapter weeks ago, but an illness prevented me from finishing it until now. I enjoyed this one despite feeling sick while writing it. Lily and Remus were a nice distraction!_

* * *

**Freedom**

***.*.*.*.***

Lily was already waiting for him in the clock tower courtyard. Remus' stomach did an anxious somersault when she smiled at him. _I doubt her good mood will last once she hears what I have to say…_

Remus plopped down on the stone bench and kissed her windblown cheek. "Ah, you're freezing! Sorry for being late. I stopped by the kitchens." He handed her a thermos of coffee and an apple-cinnamon pasty fresh from the oven. "Hopefully this will warm you up."

Lily gave an exclamation of delight as she bit into it. "Thanks, Remus." She focused her gaze on him after she finished chewing. "So what do you have to tell me that's so unpleasant?"

He slopped some coffee onto his glove. "Errr, what makes you think that?"

"One, you asked to meet outside when it's freezing. Two, you brought my favorite snack. And three, you have a guilty expression on your face."

Remus took a sip of coffee to settle his nerves. He exhaled slowly and looked at her. "The thing is... umm, Peter, James, and Sirius sort of became Animagi for me."

Her green eyes widened in shock. "How? That's advanced magic! And you have to be registered!"

"Yeah, I know. I was just as surprised when they told me a few days ago. They kept it a secret for years… you know, just in case it didn't work out." Remus looked at her. "But it did, and now they want to keep me company when I transform."

"Because you aren't a danger to other animals," she stated with a pained expression.

"Yes. I'm sorry you weren't included in this, Lily. They didn't think you'd go for breaking the rules, but I told them you would have." Remus kept their "boy's night" comment to himself. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel like an outsider.

Lily's breath plumed out as she sighed. "Well, there's nothing to be done about it now. I'll learn how to become an Animagus from Professor McGonagall next year. I know she teaches the theory in Advanced Transfiguration."

His anxiety dissipated at her words. "Really? Then you're not upset?"

"Oh I am, but not at you." A gust of wind made her shiver. "Let's go back inside."

Remus quickly packed up the thermoses. He put his arm around her as they hurried across the courtyard. When they reached the castle entrance, Remus stopped on the step below her; putting them at eye level. "Thank you for being so understanding. What they did… well, it really means a lot to me."

Lily tucked some stray pieces of hair behind his ears and smiled. "I know it does, honey. And I'm grateful they've done something to make it better for you, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous about it."

Remus nodded. "I'd feel the same way if the situation was reversed and your friends went ahead without me. So let me try to make it up to you. Name anything you want and it's yours."

She gave him a sly smile. "Hmm, now that you mention it, I would like that big box of Valentine chocolates from Honeydukes."

He laughed. "I was going to get you one anyway." Remus also planned on sending her a red rose through the school owl post. They were offering the service for two sickles this year.

"Then how about a new book from Tomes &amp; Scrolls?"

"Sure thing. And I'll even throw in a date at Madame Puddifoot's for good measure."

"But you hate it there!"

Remus shrugged. "It's not so bad. I'll go for you."

Her lips tasted like cinnamon when she kissed him. "We have some time until our next class," she murmured. Lily's soft fingers at the nape of his neck sent a tremble through his body that had nothing to do with the winter chill.

Her sentence was code for: _'Let's find an empty corridor and snog until we're breathless_.' Remus smiled into her playful eyes. "Lead the way. I'm right behind you."

***.*.***

Clover the house elf greeted Lily when she entered the kitchens on an evening in early March. "Hello Miss Evans! The young masters are waiting by the fire." She held up a tray with hot cocoa. "Clover has prepared a drink for you!"

Lily accepted the blue mug with a smile. "Thank you, Clover. You're always so sweet when I come to visit."

The house elf beamed up at her. "Clover is very happy to be of service! And how has Mister Lupin been?"

"He's doing well. Remus' sixteenth birthday is next week. That's why we're meeting here- to plan the party."

"Yes, miss, Clover knows," she replied excitedly. "Mister Black wants Clover to bake the chocolate cake!"

The house elf led her over to the long table. James, Peter, and Sirius were lounging in their chairs, eating Cauldron Cakes, and drinking tall glasses of Butterbeer. Lily said hello as she sat down beside Peter. Being alone with them felt a little awkward. And she still hadn't forgiven them for excluding her.

Lily was reaching for a cake when James said: "Evans, we know you're still miffed about the Animagi thing, but we didn't think you'd agree to it."

She glared across the table at him. "That shows how little you know me, Potter."

"Well whose fault is that?" he shot back. "Maybe if you had hung out with us more, we wouldn't have thought twice about asking you!"

Lily's face burned at his words. She opened her mouth to tell him off, but Sirius spoke first. "Cool it, Prongs. You're not helping matters." He brushed the dark hair from his eyes. "We are sorry about it, Lily. It was wrong not to ask you- especially after you became Moony's girlfriend."

"Yeah we'd take it back if we could," added Peter. "We want to make amends by letting you in on our plans. Well, to ask your permission that is, since you can't go and all."

Sirius heaved an exasperated sigh. "Real smooth, Wormtail. I should have spoken to Lily myself without you two insensitive louts here to ruin it."

"Uh, sorry Lily," Peter squeaked. "I didn't mean to make you feel worse."

"I doubt I could feel any worse about it." She took a bite of the Cauldron Cake. "So what's this plan of yours?"

"We want to take Remus outside on the full moon," James answered bluntly.

Lily inhaled a crumb and went into a coughing fit. Peter pounded her on the back. "Are you completely mental?!" she gasped out; eyes streaming.

"Just hear us out for a second," Sirius said in a reasoning tone. "Moony was better in the shack with us, but he has too much energy for that small space. He needs to be able to run around freely."

James met her eyes. "This is your chance to prove yourself to us. Do you honestly think imprisoning him is the answer?"

"No." Her voice wavered. "I hate seeing Remus in so much pain. I only want him to be happy."

"Then you know this is for the best."

She nodded. "Just promise me that you'll look after him. Remus would never forgive himself if he attacked someone."

"You have our word that nothing will go wrong," Sirius swore.

But a tight knot of dread had already formed in her stomach. She wasn't so sure.

***.*.***

Lily knocked on Remus' door an hour and a half before moonrise. Sirius pulled it open, gave her a smirk, and said, "Come on lads. Let's give Moony and his flower a few minutes alone."

Remus was lounging on his bed; back propped up with pillows. He gave her a wan smile as she sat on the mattress. Lily placed her hand on his feverish forehead. "That feels nice," he sighed.

"I won't keep you long. I know you need to get down to the hospital wing."

He pressed his lips to her palm. "I'd rather you stay for a bit. We missed our nap today." They always snuggled together before the full moon, but that was pushed aside for last minute planning.

"We'll get back to our routine next month," she replied, laying down beside him. "Are you excited?"

He nodded. "And scared. What if I go crazy and they can't control me?"

She looked into his eyes. "That won't happen. They'll have their wands with them." Lily wasn't about to admit that she was just as fearful.

"Maybe I shouldn't do this, Lily. Hanging out in the shack was good enough. If Dumbledore finds out that I betrayed his trust by doing something so reckless… well, even if he didn't expel me, I'd have to leave." He chewed on his bottom lip nervously. "I'm risking everything and I don't know if a night of freedom is worth it. Please tell me what I should do."

This was it. The moment to say: '_Don't go. Stay where it's safe.' _But she couldn't do it. Lily placed her hand over his heart. "Remus, this is your chance to have some fun. I can't ask you to wait on the potion because it could be years still. You need this now." She exhaled. "I only wish I was going too."

The worry line softened between his brows. "So do I. But you will someday."

"I hope I can learn it…"

He gave her an amused smile. "Lily, you're the most brilliant witch in our grade. Of course you can. The only question is what animal you'll become."

"What if I end up as a reptile? And all I can do is slither or hop?"

Remus laughed. "Then I'll hang a pouch around my neck to put you in."

She burst into giggles at the image. "Oh god, that would be awful. I better end up as a mammal or a bird." And just like that, the mood had shifted. "You're going to have such a good time. I'll wait up in the common room to hear all about it."

"Why not stay in my bed tonight? You'll be more comfortable."

"Okay."

Remus' lips were hot against hers. "Will you visit me tomorrow?"

"Yes, sweetheart. I will first thing." She leaned her forehead against his. "It's time to leave now. Your fever is worse."

"Yeah… I am feeling a little dizzy."

Lily helped him up from the bed and walked him to the door. She wrapped her arms around his waist. "I love you," she murmured into his chest.

Remus stroked her hair. "I love you too." He held her a few heartbeats longer before pulling away.

When he opened the door, his friends were waiting on the landing with big grins on their faces. Sirius slung an arm around his shoulder. "So how do you feel about us then?"

"I hope you love us too, because we adore our Moonykins," James crooned, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"What the hell Prongs?!"

"Godric's balls, you're burning up! Best get you down to the hospital wing. Wave goodbye to your gingersnap."

"How can I with you lot hanging on me?!"

"Now, now, Moony, is that the kind of tone to use with your beloved saviors?" scolded Sirius as they dragged him down the spiral staircase. Lily smiled as she watched them go. Remus really did have the most caring friends in the world.

***.*.***

Moony raised his snout and took in a deep breath of sharp, cold air. The scent of freedom was intoxicating. Padfoot gave a bark as he ran ahead. Moony sped after the black dog; primal excitement surging through his body. He reveled in the powerful flex of his muscles as he raced across the damp grass. Prongs bounded gracefully beside him. He spotted Wormtail's head peeking out of a bag around the stag's neck. Something about the situation seemed familiar, although he couldn't recall why.

The rich scent of earth and pine trees invaded his nostrils when they got inside the forest. Padfoot communicated by yipping playfully. Moony tried to reply, but it came out as more of a strangled whine. When they reached a clearing bathed in moonlight, the wolf was finally able to unleash his voice. He tipped his head towards the night sky and let out a long, low howl. A tingle of euphoria passed down his spine, setting his fur on end. Moony called out again in celebration.

***.*.***

Lily waited until her roommates were asleep before sneaking downstairs. Lumos was curled up on his favorite armchair in the common room. He blinked sleepily at her as she stopped to pet him. "Want to come with me?" Her cat gave a funny meow as he arched his back in a stretch. She laughed. "I suppose that's a yes."

The wall sconces lit up when she entered the tower room. Lily walked over to Remus' bed; exchanging her dressing robe for his discarded jumper. The sleeves were so long on her that she had to roll them up a few times.

She climbed under his rumpled covers and lost herself in the pages of _**I Capture the Castle.**_ Lily stopped reading only when Lumos patted her face with his paw. "Oh alright," she said, lifting up the blanket for him. He settled himself in the warm space behind her knees. Moving was impossible now, but she didn't mind. Lily was glad of the company. She fell into a fitful sleep sometime after 3 AM.

The squeaky door hinge roused her awake at dawn. Lily knocked the paperback onto the floor as she sat up. "How was it? Did everything go okay?"

"Sure did." Sirius bent down to pick up her book. "Moony was like a playful pup."

"He even howled at the moon!" Peter said with a laugh.

Lily smiled as she imagined it. "I'm so glad. I'll go and see him now." She climbed carefully out of bed and pulled on her dressing robe. "Thank you for doing this. Really."

"It was our pleasure. I've never had so much fun in my life." Sirius looked over at her. "Moony told us that you're going to take Advanced Transfiguration. We can help you get a head start if you like."

"I appreciate the offer, but I have to learn it on my own. No shortcuts."

James flopped back on his bed. "Don't be so stubborn, Evans."

"It's not stubbornness," she insisted. "I want to work hard for Remus. Just like all of you did."

Peter nodded. "I get it. I think that's nice, Lily."

"Well if you change your mind, let us know," Sirius said through a yawn.

"I will. Goodnight then." She left the door open a crack for Lumos to get out later.

***.*.***

Madame Pomfrey gave a cheerful "Good morning!" when she arrived at the hospital wing. Lily returned the greeting and asked about Remus.

"He's doing remarkably well. Mr. Lupin didn't have as many injuries for me to heal this time around."

Lily grinned at the news. "That's great!"

"It is indeed, but I find it rather curious." She gazed at her intently. "I wonder what the cause could be."

"I'm not sure." She chewed her lip, trying to think of an excuse to give. "Perhaps it's because he's getting older now?"

"I suppose that could be possible." But she did not look convinced.

"Would it be alright if I stay here this morning?"

"Yes, that's fine. You're looking a little peaky yourself."

"I never sleep well on the night of the full moon."

"That's understandable, dear," Madame Pomfrey said sympathetically. "Shall I bring you a sleeping draught?"

"No, I won't need it. I can rest without worrying now."

A shaft of pale sunlight shone down on Remus; making him look almost angelic. Lily touched her lips to his forehead. "Good morning," she said when he opened his eyes. "I hear you had a lot of fun."

He gave her a tired smile. "I did. For the first time in my life, I didn't hate being what I am." Lily let the happy tears slip down her cheeks. Remus brushed them away with his fingertips. "Stay with me?"

She nodded and turned around to push back the neighboring divider. Lily wheeled the other bed right next to his. "I hope Madame Pomfrey won't mind," she said, climbing under the covers.

"She won't." Remus reached for her hand once she was facing him. "I can't wait for you to come with us... to experience that same freedom," he whispered.

"Me too," she replied with a smile. And when Lily drifted into a peaceful sleep, she dreamt of running on four legs beside him.


	11. Desire

_A/N: I'm so sorry for the long hiatus_ ;_; _I was dealing with a lot of things, but I'll be sure to update more often from now on. As an apology, I have an extra romantic chapter for you! There's a mature scene at the end, nothing too graphic, but I just thought I'd warn you in case you want to skip over that part {hides face in embarrassment}_

_Please leave a comment as I'm very curious to hear what you think of this one ;) And happy birthday Remus!_

* * *

**Desire**

_Summer 1976_

***.*.*.*.*.***

Remus and Lily climbed on the bus heading to Cornwall—choosing the private seats at the back. They could have taken the Knight Bus, but neither one wanted to be nauseated on their first overnight holiday together. Their parents didn't know anything about it of course. James was covering for him and Lily had told her parents that she was staying with Marlene.

They spent the ride snogging and catching up with each other. Remus had taken a job at a bookshop to pay for the trip, while Lily had been assisting Damocles Belby.

"The breakthrough ingredient is the aconite flower. It's poisonous, so getting the dosing right is going to be tricky, but Mr. Belby thinks he'll have a potion for you to try next year! Isn't that fantastic?"

He pressed his lips to her forehead. "Sure is. Thank you for working so hard on this, Lily."

"Sev has been helping us too. He says it's to further his career, but I know that he's also doing it for you."

Remus knew that if he was doing it for anyone, it was strictly for Lily. But that was alright with him. They both wanted the same thing: to keep her safe. That made them comrades in a way even though they weren't friends, and probably never would be.

"I'll have to thank him once we're back at school."

"And do you know what else? Lena told me that she fancies Sev."

His eyes widened. Marlene McKinnon and Severus Snape were opposites in every way. He couldn't think of a less likely pair. "Well, that's a surprise."

"It isn't to me. The three of us always hang out every summer. I was starting to suspect it last year when he was helping her with Potions."

"Is she going to ask him out?"

"I think so. She's nervous about it, but I can tell that he likes her too. They'd have to keep their relationship a secret which is a pretty big concern. I hope they can make it work though." Lily traced her fingers over the palm of his hand. "It would be good if Sev could get over me."

"If I were Snape, I'd never be able to get over you."

Her green eyes met his. "You'd stay single for the rest of your life?"

"Yes. I could never love anyone the way I love you." He was speaking purely as himself now.

Lily smiled. "I wouldn't be able to either."

Remus hunched down in his chair so he could kiss her. She nestled into his side, arm draped across his midsection. "I need to close my eyes for a bit. I was too excited to sleep last night."

He hadn't got much sleep either. His mind had been too preoccupied with advice from Sirius on what to do. Asking him about sex had been humiliating, but Remus needed to know for Lily. He didn't want to do anything wrong or end up hurting her.

He remembered back to something Sirius had said: "Look, if you're that worried, then let Lily make the move. She's the assertive type. And, you know, ask if she likes something or not. Don't overthink this, alright?" He slapped him on the back. "Just have fun!" And Remus was sure it would be fun while it was happening, but the lead up made him anxious. Because overthinking was what he did and Sirius telling him not to couldn't change that.

Within minutes, Lily was asleep. The knot in his stomach began to relax. Remus found himself matching her steady, even breaths when he closed his eyes. And then he realized something: _I'm with Lily… I don't have to be nervous. We'll figure this out together._

***.*.***

They checked into their B&amp;B in Polzeath—dropping their bags off before heading out to get something to eat. The town was easy to navigate and the friendly locals told them about must see places. The lady at the Cornish pasty shop recommended they walk along the coastal path to Daymer Bay because it was a more secluded beach. The idea appealed to Remus who wasn't keen on his scars being stared at by loads of people.

"Should we go swimming today?" Lily asked as they walked down the street.

"Sure. Let's wait at least an hour to settle our stomachs though."

They went into shops and bought little things for each other and for their friends. Then the two of them headed back to the B&amp;B to change into their bathing suits.

"You stay in here," Remus said, getting his swimming shorts out of his bag. "I'll go to the bathroom down the hall. Meet me in the sitting room when you're ready."

Lily came downstairs ten minutes later wearing a white eyelet sundress and a light blue jean jacket. Her long hair was drawn into a knot on the top of her head. Remus offered to carry her macramé totebag.

"You aren't embarrassed to carry it?"

"No, but I would be if James or Sirius were here."

She handed it over. "Thank the gods they aren't. That would definitely ruin the mood."

He laughed. "Yeah, I know." For the very first time, him and Lily were completely alone. No one they knew was going to interrupt anything. His stomach fluttered at the thought.

The coastal path was breathtaking. The azure water and the sound of crashing waves had an unreality about it. Neither of them had ever seen such gorgeous scenery before. The Scottish Highlands were certainly majestic, but the misty mountains gave off a melancholy atmosphere. Cornwall, on the other hand, was pure happiness—the kind of place that made you feel more alive just for being there. Remus glanced over at Lily. Her awestruck smile told him that she was experiencing the same feeling.

A handful of people were already at Daymer Bay when they arrived, but there was plenty of room for everyone. They spread their blanket out near a sandy dune.

Remus' heart about stopped when Lily took off her sundress. He had felt the curves of her body during their many snogging sessions, but he had never seen them on display before. The string bikini showed off her hourglass waist and full breasts. For such a petite girl (she wasn't even 5 foot 3 inches tall), her legs were surprisingly long.

"So, you like my bikini?" she asked with a smile.

He knew he was blushing. "Uh, yes, I do. Very much."

She poked him in the arm. "Well give me something to look at too."

Remus didn't think his body was anything special, but he had been doing sit-ups to make his abs more defined. He stepped out of his jeans first. After glancing around to make sure the few people on the beach weren't looking at him, he lifted his T-shirt over his head. Lily had seen his scars before, but that had been in a dim room, and they looked so much worse in the sunlight. Remus placed his hand over it self-consciously.

Lily pulled his hand away. "Don't worry about it." She sat down on the blanket and patted the spot beside her. "Will you put sunscreen on my back?"

"Sure," he replied, accepting the bottle from her outstretched hand.

Lily draped a towel around her chest. "Untie my top too that way you can cover my whole back. I'll get burned otherwise."

Remus took his time rubbing it into her fair skin. Lily let out a trembling sigh when he pressed his lips to the nape of her neck. She had always been very sensitive there. Remus smiled as he tied her bikini top back on. "There… you're all ready to go swimming."

Lily got her revenge once they were in the water. She wrapped those legs of hers around his waist and pressed herself against him; eyes shining playfully as she kissed him. "Uh, Lily, there are people here so let's save this for tonight, yeah?" he said, attempting to disentangle himself from her. "Please stop that wiggling or you might kill me."

"Are you getting turned on?" she whispered next to his ear.

He groaned. "Meanie. You already know I am."

Lily gave him a seductive smirk. "Sorry, Remus. I couldn't resist." She released him from her hold and said, "I'll behave myself now. Let's see who can swim faster!"

They were well matched, but Lily had the slight edge on him. She was a natural in the water. They stayed inside for about fifteen minutes.

"You know, your bum looks great in those shorts," Lily said as they walked over to their blanket.

Remus let out an embarrassed laugh. "Really? Must be from riding my bike to work every day." But he felt pleased at the compliment. _Lily likes my body as much as I like hers…_

They toweled each other off before laying down. Lily untied her hair to let it dry. Remus noticed that she had tiny beauty marks scattered across her midsection like constellations. She giggled as he traced his fingers over them.

"Oh, are you ticklish here? That's good to know." He fully intended to kiss those spots later that night.

Remus rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. They lay quietly beside each other, soaking up the warm sun. After a while, he glanced over at Lily. The sunlight had transformed her auburn hair into coppery-red waves.

Remus propped himself up on his elbow. "You're so beautiful," he said softly.

She smiled without opening her eyes. "You are too."

"No, I'm not."

Lily looked over at him. "Trust me, Remus, you're gorgeous." She took his hand in hers. "I told you before, didn't I? That you're my Apollo."

Remus had to smile about that. _Someone like me… being compared to the sun._ Lily had always represented the sunlight. _But maybe that's what love is: being miniature suns to each other._

***.*.***

Lily lit the candles she had brought from home while Remus was in the shower. She took off her kimono robe and walked over to the window in her pale green nightie. The sea breeze cooled her flushed cheeks. Lily gazed up at the crescent moon. The door opened, but she remained where she was. And then, Remus was standing behind her—resting his chin on the top of her head.

"The waning crescent is my favorite because it's right before the new moon. It's when I feel my best."

Lily latched the window and led him over to the bed.

"Want me to lay down first?"

She nodded. For a moment, Lily just stared down at him. His scars looked golden under the candlelight. She leaned down to press her lips to them. She then moved to the other side of his chest and kissed the spot just over his heart. It was racing as fast as her own. Lily lowered her body on top of his. They lay there, just holding each other for a while. She could feel his erection through his boxers, but he didn't make a move. Lily knew that he was letting her take the lead and she appreciated his consideration.

She ran her fingers down the lightly defined muscles of his abdomen. He gasped when she touched the skin just under his waistband. They had never done anything without the barrier of clothing before. She straddled him while she lifted the nightgown over her head. Remus sat up, slipped his arms around her back, and pulled her onto his lap. Like with swimming earlier, Lily wrapped her legs around his waist as they exchanged heated kisses. After a while, she found herself laying on her back with Remus trailing his lips and tongue down her body. Lily throbbed with desire.

His fingers paused at her panties. "Can I take them off?"

"Yes."

The sensations Lily experienced afterwards were so intense that she felt as though she were drowning. But she let the waves engulf her—making noises that she didn't even know she could make. Lily closed her eyes during the peak of it. And then, she was floating in a foggy haze of pure bliss. She could feel Remus hovering over her now. The pupils of his eyes were so large that she could hardly see his irises. He wanted her and he was waiting for her to tell him that she was ready. Lily didn't know if she could speak at this point, so she removed his boxers, and guided him inside of her.

Intercourse was not as pleasurable for her as it was for him, but he was gentle, and he went slowly. Remus let out a long moan and collapsed on top of her. Lily held him—taking in the delightful feeling of his sweat-beaded skin on hers—his hot breath against her chest.

Once his heart rate slowed, he raised his head and asked if she was alright.

She pushed the damp hair from his brow. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Am I too heavy for you? Why don't you lay on me instead?"

Lily pulled the sheet over them as they switched positions. She gave him a soft kiss.

"Gods, that was everything I imagined it would be," he admitted.

But it was far more than Lily could have imagined. "Who told you how to do those things?"

He chuckled. "Sirius. Guess he gave me good advice this time, huh?"

She grinned. "He did, but don't tell him I said that. Or anything about what happened tonight."

"I won't," he assured her. "This moment stays between you and me."

"Good," she replied, snuggling into him. Remus ran his fingers through her hair. Lily's eyes closed at the touch. "Mmm, that's nice."

He continued to stroke her hair for another minute. "I'm really tired for some reason. I could go to sleep right now."

"Me too," she murmured. Lily felt warm and safe and deliriously happy that they had three more nights of intimacy to look forward to.


End file.
